It's a Magnificent World
by dookychan
Summary: The El-Hazard cast feature in this parody of 1940's Christmas films. Will Fatora and Jinnai change their ways? Will Makoto jump?


El-Hazard, Pretty Sammy and Oh My Goddess are property of AIC.   
Nadesico is property of Xebec. All other characters are property of   
dookychan. Lyrics to 'Chicago' written by bis. This fic borrows concepts   
from various films and anime in the interests of spoofery, and because I   
couldn't be arsed to write anything original. In fact, having looked back at   
this fic, I find it hard to believe that I actually wrote something so big and   
so stupid...  
  
For the sake of clarity, this fic does not take place in the normal El-Hazard   
continuity. Yes, I know it's obvious, but there's always someone who gets   
confused...  
  
Presenting the El-Hazard Christmas Special 2001-  
  
IT'S A MAGNIFICENT WORLD  
  
A Corporate Carol by dookychan.  
  
Featuring-  
  
Makoto Mizuhara  
  
Katsuhiko Jinnai  
  
Fatora Jagdhar  
  
And narrated by your favourite goth, and mine (apart from Izumi Maki of   
course)- Mari Kurai  
  
*A huge log fire illuminates the room. A figure takes a book from a   
bookshelf, then returns to sit in an unfeasibly large chair in front of the   
fire. Taking a large wine glass in one hand, the mysterious figure fills it   
with an unidentified brand of cider, and drops in two caffeine pills which   
quickly dissolve. Finally, the figure turns to face us, and we are confronted   
with a person whom, were we Roshtarian, we would find disturbingly   
similar to Death.*  
  
MARI: Hello, one and all. I'm Mari Kurai, gothic star of That Fic by That   
Alielle and Fatora Guy. Look around you, and you'll see that it's   
Christmas. Oh joy. Yes, that special time of year when the suicide rate   
soars, people bankrupt themselves purchasing consumer goods, and   
families come together to remind each other exactly why they spend the   
rest of the year apart. Actually, I'm spending this Christmas with my cute   
little cousin! Say hi!  
RURI: Must I?  
MARI: Yes, this is my cousin, Ruri Hoshino from Nadesico. Not many   
people know we're related, but the family resemblance is quite clear to   
see. In fact, we're similar in lots of ways.  
RURI: But I'm more socially adept than you.  
MARI: Good call. Now, what shall we do for entertainment? What do we   
both enjoy?  
RURI: How about insulting our colleagues?  
MARI: Excellent suggestion!  
RURI: The crew of the Nadesico... what a bunch of bakas. Especially   
Captain Misumaru. She's the biggest baka of them all. What a baka.  
MARI: Hey, you haven't been to El-Hazard. Talk about bakas... they're   
all bakas. Except for Nanami... (sigh) Oh, Nanami... when will you be   
mine?  
RURI: Perhaps we should change the subject...  
MARI: Oh, I know! Why don't I tell you a lovely Christmas story?  
RURI: You want to tell me a story? I'm not a little kid.  
MARI: Yes you are.  
RURI: No I'm not. I'm twelve.  
MARI: Look, do you want me to tell you this story or not?  
RURI: If I said no, would it matter?  
MARI: Come on, it's a great story!  
RURI: Oh, very well.  
MARI: Okay! This is a story called "It's a Magnificent World," and it   
begins with a city...  
  
Tokyo is a city where, it seems, the twin forces of order and chaos have   
met head on, come to an amicable agreement, and started a profitable joint   
venture together. It's more crowded than New York, easier to get lost in   
than Hong Kong, more expensive than Copenhagen and more infuriating   
than London. And stressful. Commuters are stressed because they need to   
get from A to B in a time that would require supersonic public transport.   
Motorists are stressed because the nearest available parking space is two   
cities away. Ordinary schoolgirls are stressed because they can't find   
anywhere private to change into their Magical Girl costumes. And tourists   
are stressed because, looking up at the very tall buildings for the first time,   
they suddenly remember the fact that Japan is prone to earthquakes. It   
should be pointed out at this stage that the chances of being killed by an   
earthquake are statistically tiny compared to, say, those of being hit by a   
car. And the aforementioned tourists often discover this first-hand. In their   
rush to find the public transport which can take them from A (Tokyo) to B   
(somewhere with fewer tall buildings), they may fail to notice the   
oncoming motorists who have been circling the inner city for half an hour   
looking for a parking space. And then, disaster. Tragically, this often   
happens before the local Magical Girls have a chance to respond, but,   
looking on the bright side, the unfortunate tourist does at least gain a   
valuable insight into how probability really works, however briefly.  
  
In fact, it's difficult to see how Tokyo doesn't explode in a frenzy of   
shouting, crashing, swearing and other discourteous behaviour. But   
generally speaking, and to the surprise of sociologists everywhere, it   
doesn't. 'Anarchy' is not a word in the Japanese language (although   
'konranjotai' is, and means much the same thing). A contradiction it may   
be, but Tokyo usually remains orderly despite the chaos. Which is why   
today was so unusual.  
  
Today, there was a minor riot.  
  
When it comes to rioting, the Japanese have their priorities firmly in place.   
This riot wasn't political- nothing so mundane. It happened because   
Tokyo's two premier department stores had sold out of the number one   
toy for this Christmas.  
  
Katsuhiko Jinnai, head of Festive Marketing at Diva's (Japan's favourite   
retail outlet according to a recent survey), faced the cameras with a   
carefully calculated expression of concern.   
"It saddens me deeply when public order collapses for the sake of a mere   
toy. We at Diva's are always anxious to put public safety first."  
"So, will you be restocking the toy in question in time for Christmas?" one   
of the journalists asked.  
Jinnai smiled. This was the question he'd been waiting for.  
"All being well, we should have a brand new stock delivered by   
tomorrow, December the twenty-third. Distributed on a first come, first   
served basis, naturally."  
  
Directly across the street, the media frenzy continued. Fatora Jagdhar,   
head of Seasonal Goodwill Co-ordination at Jagdhar's (also Japan's   
favourite retail outlet according to a rather less reputable survey) faced the   
cameras of all the TV stations that couldn't get close enough to Jinnai.  
"Well, yeah, nobody likes a riot. But if people are going to start fighting   
and smashing windows just because they can't get their hands on a silly   
toy, then that's their problem. They'll get no sympathy from me."  
One of the journalists asked Fatora if the store would be getting any more   
of the silly toy within the next two days.  
"Oh, I'd expect so. We're making a fortune out of it!"  
  
On the outskirts of Tokyo, in a small but still ridiculously expensive   
apartment, a woman sat, glued to the TV news.  
Makoto would probably be okay, she told herself. Most of the people hurt   
in the chaos were customers- there were no reports of any on the shop   
workers being injured. But still, she worried.  
"We can cross over now to reporter live on the scene, Kagsi Vulpix," the   
TV news reporter said.  
"Thank you. Central Tokyo experienced anarchy today, and unfortunately,   
the police could do little to ease the situation. Possibly due to their relative   
inexperience in dealing with riots, the Tokyo police inadvertently released   
the seals on their tear gas canisters too early, and managed to gas forty of   
their own officers. Meanwhile, the use of water cannons proved equally   
ineffective due to an unexpected drop in water pressure in the area. The   
riot was eventually stopped thanks to intervention by the district Magical   
Girl, Astounding Ariel. Over now to Sasami Kawaii, our Magical Girl   
correspondent for an assessment..."  
The reporter was replaced by a young girl, who gestured excitedly at the   
footage behind her.  
"Here we can see Astounding Ariel really in top form. In her trademark   
blue outfit- more revealing than that of the standard Magical Girl, but   
that's really part of her charm- flying up, you can just make her out there...   
and hitting the ground below with her Orderly Conduct Beam- and there it   
is, yes! Angry rioters to model citizens in the time it takes to shout the   
name of an attack. Yay! Go, Ariel! Now, back to the studio."  
"International news now, and the American president has met strong   
opposition over his plans to have the state of Alaska removed and sold   
back to the Russians. The state, described as 'too big and an awkward   
shape' by a government official, will be amputated from the North   
American coastline and towed to a new location off Siberia if the plan   
goes ahead..."  
Ifurita sighed, and switched the television off. She lay back uncomfortably   
on the couch and waited for Makoto to call.  
  
The intense rivalry between Diva's and Jagdhar's was far from a publicity   
stunt. It was a very real and palpable animosity, which had captured the   
imagination of the Japanese public and made the two stores famous   
throughout the nation. Both were family businesses, and neither family   
was native to Japan. The Diva family originated from Britain, whilst the   
Jagdhars had their roots in the Middle East.  
The general consensus was that Diva's was the better of the two, but not   
by much- their closest rivals were never far behind. Jagdhar's also had the   
advantage of a somewhat friendlier public image- the general manager,   
Rune Venus Jagdhar, was notably warmer than the manager of Diva's, the   
mysterious and reclusive woman known only as Miss Diva.  
  
She rarely appeared in public, and even the majority of her staff had little   
contact with her. Only her most senior and trusted employees saw her on a   
halfway-regular basis. One of them, Katsuhiko Jinnai, had just been   
summoned to her office.  
"Have you seen the news?"  
She gestured dispassionately towards the bank of monitors mounted on the   
wall, each one showing a different television channel.  
"Every news bulletin on every station is running footage of the riot. The   
whole country is talking about it."  
Jinnai tried to disguise his nervousness. "Miss Diva... I realise that things   
got out of hand, but I can assure you that I did everything in my power   
to..."  
"I want to congratulate you, Mr Jinnai. This single incident has generated   
more publicity than any advertising budget could achieve. Demand for the   
toy can only increase after this. You have ordered more, haven't you?"  
"Of course," Jinnai smiled. "They'll be here for tomorrow."  
"Good." Diva stood up, and began to circle her desk, deep in thought. "It   
would be desirable... if we were able to delay supply of the product   
tomorrow, and then finally start selling it again on Christmas Eve."  
Jinnai nodded. "It'd be parents' last chance to buy it. We could even   
increase the price, and they'd have no choice but to pay it! There's just   
one complication..."  
"Jagdhar's," Diva responded. "It's quite possible that they will be able to   
restock by tomorrow as well. Of course, if they have any sense, they'll be   
trying the same tactic as we are..."  
Jinnai sneered. "Don't worry, Miss Diva. I'll see to it that Diva's is the   
only place to buy this particular merchandise."  
Diva clasped her hands together and smiled at her deputy. "I knew I could   
rely on you, Mr Jinnai. I've always had faith in your abilities."  
This, at least, was true. Diva's board of directors had privately questioned   
her sanity when she had plucked Jinnai from obscurity to run the all-  
important Christmas operation. But he had shown a remarkable aptitude   
for the demanding position, despite all expectations.  
  
Fatora Jagdhar had achieved her position as the head of the Jagdhar's   
Christmas operation via a quite different route. Her sister ran the   
company, and she needed something to do over Christmas.  
"I don't believe it," Rune sighed. "I was only out of the store for an hour...   
one hour... and there's a riot while I'm gone."  
"Don't look at me!" Fatora said defensively. "It's not like I TOLD them to   
start rioting, is it? I happen to abhor all forms of physical violence."  
A girl entered the room. Fatora gestured her over.  
"Oh, hey, Alielle. You missed a fantastic riot!"  
"Really?" she replied. "Sorry, I was busy."  
"You missed the Magical Girl too," Fatora added. "Astounding Ariel. You   
know, the one who looks just like you and has a very similar name."  
"Oh, yes," Alielle said innocently. "Her."  
Rune nodded. "Yes, for some reason, every time she appears, you're not   
here."  
"I wonder who she really is," Fatora frowned.  
Alielle shrugged. "I suppose we'll never know."  
"Anyway," Rune said. "To business. Fatora, did you re-order the toy?"  
"Well, I called the company," Fatora recalled, "and they said they couldn't   
deliver any more before Christmas. Then I started shouting at them, and   
they changed their minds. So maybe tomorrow, maybe Christmas Eve.   
Hell, I don't see what's so special about the stupid thing anyway."  
"But it's so cute!" Alielle insisted, searching through her bag. "Look, I'll   
show you..."  
Fatora put her hand to her head. "Oh, God. Don't tell me you have one of   
those damn things too..."  
Alielle produced the toy- an orange stuffed cat.  
"It's such an innovation," she smiled. "A toy cat that's also a body   
warmer. And it talks! Come on, Ura, say something!"  
She pressed a pad on the cat's paw.  
"It's a job!" said a recorded voice.  
Alielle giggled. "Oh, Ura. You're so cute."  
Fatora sighed. "Three hundred people rioted... over that? What is wrong   
with this world?"  
  
Makoto continued to brush the broken glass into the corner. Jinnai had   
insisted that the shop front was restored to its original pristine condition,   
leaving no trace of the riot damage. And nobody went home until it was   
done.  
Makoto sighed. Jinnai was the worst boss imaginable. However, his sister,   
who worked in accounts, was really quite pleasant.  
"I can't believe I'm still here," he moaned to Nanami. "My girlfriend's   
going to kill me."  
Nanami nodded. "Speaking of killing people, just wait until I see my   
brother. He's gonna pay for making me work this late."  
"Now, Nanami," a voice said behind her. "Such outbursts are hardly the   
making of a happy corporation."  
Nanami growled at her smiling brother. "You wait, Katsuhiko! The   
union's gonna hear about this!"  
"Oh, look at me, I'm shaking with terror," Jinnai mocked. "What are they   
going to do? Write me a polite-but-firm letter?"  
Nanami raised a more threatening prospect. "I'll tell dad!"  
Jinnai took it in his stride. "Just remember, Nanami. You're up before the   
promotion board in a few weeks. I'd advise you were on your best   
behaviour until then. Now, don't you have some numbers you ought to be   
looking at?"  
Nanami stormed off.  
"Um... Mr Jinnai?" Makoto asked. "Is it okay if I call my girlfriend? Just   
to tell her I'll be late back..."  
"Not in company time!" Jinnai replied. "You can call her when you're   
finished."  
"Yeah, but she'll be really worried..."  
"Well then, that's all the more incentive for you to work faster," Jinnai   
smiled.  
  
It had been suggested that they spend their first evening in Japan taking in   
the local culture, so the pair stood observing a renowned Japanese cultural   
artefact.  
"They certainly have a lot of vending machines in this country," Kiriya   
commented to Nahato.  
"Yes," Nahato replied. "Look at that. Coffee in a can. Crazy."  
"And the dimensions of the can are slightly different to our standard,"   
Kiriya observed.  
Nahato shrugged. "It's amazing how different our two cultures are."  
"Well," Kiriya said, "that's enough culture. I'm tired. Let's go."  
Three women, who sat at a table outside a restaurant, watched them leave.  
"Who do you think they are?" Qawoor asked.  
"Americans," Shayla replied.  
"Do all Americans have blue skin?"  
Shayla paused. "Um... well, I think so, I... I dunno. It's a while since I've   
been there."  
"Going anywhere nice for Christmas?" Afura asked.  
"You bet," Shayla grinned. "I'm off to Sicily. They say Mount Etna's   
about to erupt. It's gonna rock!"  
"I'm going to Angel Falls again," Qawoor said. "What about you, Afura?"  
"Chicago," Afura said. "The Windy City."  
Although they weren't aware of it, the trio's unusual choices of holiday   
destinations were tied to the fact that in an alternate universe, they were   
the priestesses of fire, water and wind respectively. Even if they had   
known, though, they probably wouldn't have cared.  
In this universe, they were something much more remarkable.  
  
Makoto stumbled into the living room, exhausted. Ifurita looked up.  
"Makoto! Where have you been?"  
"I'm sorry..." he panted. "There was a riot..."  
"I know. I saw it on TV. I was so worried."  
He sat down heavily on the couch. "Jinnai made me stay until the whole   
mess was cleared up."  
"Why didn't you call?" she sighed. "I really thought something was   
wrong..."  
"I tried," he insisted. "Really..."  
It was obvious his protestations weren't going to make the slightest bit of   
difference.  
"Look, I'm really sorry I caused you so much worry."  
"It's okay," Ifurita smiled weakly, but Makoto could tell that it wasn't.  
  
Alielle stared up at the ceiling of Fatora's enormous bedroom. It was   
obviously built to impress, and Alielle had to wonder just how many girls   
it had impressed before her.  
"My, Fatora," she smiled wryly. "Do you give all of your female   
employees such... benefits?"  
"Not at all," Fatora replied. "I have very high standards. I look for hard   
work, dedication, stamina... and you've definitely shown you have   
stamina. I think a promotion might be in order."  
"Wow! Thank you, Fatora!"  
"I'll make you... um... hey, just what is it you do anyway?"  
Alielle looked puzzled. "Well, I'm... not really sure. I just sort of hang   
around and tell you how great you are, I guess."  
"Hmm..." Fatora pondered. "Okay. How about you just carry on doing the   
same thing, but for twice the pay?"  
Their attention was suddenly caught by the television, which had been on   
in the background. A female news reporter stood outside a skyscraper   
wearing a serious expression.  
"We interrupt this pornographic feature to bring you an urgent newsflash.   
The peace talks between the USA and Luxembourg, taking place here in   
Tokyo, are on the verge of collapse. Details are sketchy, but some reports   
claim that the Luxembourg delegation walked out after US representatives   
were unable to locate the country on a map."  
Alielle sat up. "Fatora, would you excuse me for a moment?"  
"Um... sure," Fatora replied.  
Alielle jumped out of bed and hurried out of the room. "I'll be back in a   
minute!"  
Fatora thought she saw a flash outside the window. Oh well, probably   
nothing. She turned her attention back to the news. The reporter had been   
joined by a white-haired woman.  
"With me now is our defence analyst, Kalia Kamikaze. Kalia, what   
military options do the two sides have open to them?"  
"Well the USA does, of course, have a massive nuclear arsenal, plus a   
world class army, navy and air force."  
"And Luxembourg?"  
"Um... we think they have a boat."  
"A boat?"  
"Yes, and maybe even some guns."  
The reporter seemed distracted. "I'm getting reports that... yes, we have a   
Magical Girl sighting! It's Astounding Ariel, and she's hitting the building   
with... that looks like a Can't We All Just Get Along Beam. And... wait,   
wait, she's not finished yet... another attack! A Good Diplomacy Beam!   
What timing! Well, Kalia, it looks like all out war between two   
superpowers has been averted."  
"Damn."  
"Another victory for peace, and our city's blue-clad guardian. This has   
been a special report from TV Tokyo News. I'm Kagsi Vulpix. Now, back   
to the porn."  
There was another flash outside, and moments later Alielle ran back into   
the bedroom.  
"I'm back!" she smiled nervously.  
Fatora nodded. "Guess what? Astounding Ariel was on TV. You missed   
her again."  
"Really?"  
"Yes. She just restored peace to the western world. And I think she was   
wearing a new costume... I wonder who she really is."  
Alielle sighed. "Yeah. I wonder..."  
  
RURI: I'm bored.  
MARI: What?  
RURI: This story's going nowhere. The plot threads don't have anything   
to do with one another.  
MARI: The plot threads didn't have anything to do with each other for the   
first five chapters of Shape of Things to Come, but you didn't hear ME   
complaining!  
RURI: It doesn't make sense. That bit with the priestesses was   
meaningless. And just what was the thing with the Phantom Tribe about?  
MARI: I haven't got to that part yet! Wow, kids have such a short   
attention span nowadays...  
RURI: I'm NOT a kid.  
MARI: We've been through this. Now, the next day, Makoto was   
wondering how he could make things up to Ifurita...  
  
"I wonder how I can make things up to Ifurita," Makoto pondered as he   
and Nanami entered the building.  
"Well, it's Christmas in two days," Nanami reminded him. "You should   
get her a special present."  
Makoto looked up. "Hey, that's a great idea! I don't really have much   
money... but she deserves it. What do you think I should get for her?"  
"That's up to you, I suppose, but... hey, how about a ring?"  
Makoto frowned. "A ring? Isn't that kind of boring?"  
Nanami shook her head. "No, no, it's the perfect Christmas present. Trust   
me. I read this manga once, and this boy got his girlfriend a ring for   
Christmas... it was SO romantic!"  
"Well," Makoto replied, "if you're that sure..."  
"You should go up to the jewellery department and see what they've got,"   
Nanami advised.  
"Thanks," Makoto said. "I'll do that."  
  
Makoto stared in disbelief at the display.  
"Whoa. These are way out of my price range..."  
"Is there a problem, Mizuhara?"  
He turned around to see Jinnai standing over him. "Oh... I was just...   
thinking of buying a ring. But they're all so expensive. Don't we have   
anything cheaper?"  
"Of course we don't," Jinnai said dismissively. "At Diva's, we stock only   
the best."  
"Oh well..." Makoto mused, "at least I still have my staff discount. That's   
got to make it a little more affordable."  
"Sorry," Jinnai smiled. "The staff discount is only valid for as long as you   
don't use it."  
"But... that isn't fair at all!"  
Jinnai narrowed his eyes. "Are you criticising company policy?"  
"N... no! Not at all!" Makoto assured him.  
"Good. Now, I'm calling a staff meeting in a few minutes. There's a very   
important matter I need to discuss."  
  
"Here at Diva's, we pride ourselves on creating a happy, relaxed   
atmosphere in which the customer is content to browse and to buy. If I   
catch any of you not being happy and relaxed, you're fired!"  
Jinnai stood before the gathering of employees, enjoying every second of   
his superiority. God, he loved this job.  
"It's almost Christmas, so I'm expecting each and every one of you to be   
at peak performance. Any questions?"  
Nanami put her hand up. "Yeah, can we open up soon? There's a whole   
bunch of people outside waiting to get in so they can buy that Ura toy.   
They're getting pretty restless."  
Jinnai sneered. "What a shame. We won't be selling Uras today."  
"But... what are we supposed to tell all those people?"  
"Tell them we'll be getting some tomorrow. In the meantime, I'm sure   
they'll find other things to buy."  
"Excuse me," Makoto said, "but I'm sure I saw a lorry full of Uras   
arriving this morning..."  
"So? What if you did?"  
"Well, if we've got them, why aren't we selling them? I mean, it doesn't   
really seem fair..."  
"Oh, I see," Jinnai frowned. "Questioning company policy again,   
Mizuhara? There's a special place for people who question company   
policy, and it's called the unemployment office. Now, do you have any   
further objections to the way I run this operation?"  
"No," Makoto sighed.  
"I thought not. Now, you all know how much I value company loyalty.   
And loyalty is especially important at a time like this. So I don't expect to   
hear about any of you consorting with the enemy... that is, going   
ANYWHERE near Jagdhar's. Do I make myself clear?"  
"Yes sir!" came the unanimous reply.  
Ah, blind obedience, Jinnai thought. Nothing quite like it to boost the ego.  
"You're all dismissed," he said. "Except for... you. What's your name   
again?"  
"Masamichi Fujisawa," the man replied. "I work in the sports and leisure   
department."  
"You look like a guy who gets results..." Jinnai mused. "I have a mission   
for you. A mission into enemy territory."  
  
"Going down."  
The lift doors closed, and Nanami pressed the button for the ground floor.   
"So, Makoto, did you look at the rings? Have you chosen one yet?"  
He looked away, ashamed. "I can't afford any of them."  
"Well, that's a problem..." Nanami conceded. "Unless... hey, I hear   
Jagdhar's have got a sale on. I bet you'd be able to get one there."  
"Yeah, I suppose," Makoto nodded. "But you heard what Jinnai said. If   
I'm seen near Jagdhar's, I'm in big trouble."  
Nanami laughed. "My stupid brother? Don't worry about what he says.   
How's he ever going to find out?"  
"I'm really not sure about this, Nanami..."  
The lift came to a stop, and the doors opened. As Makoto and Nanami   
stepped out, a woman and a boy, both with blue skin, walked past them   
into the lift.  
"Excuse me," the woman said.  
The lift doors closed. Makoto looked to Nanami in confusion. "Was it just   
me, or were they..."  
"Tourists," Nanami replied casually.  
  
"We don't have it. Go away. Oh, and Merry Christmas."  
"Fatora," Rune sighed, "you could try to be a LITTLE more civil to our   
customers. After all, they HAVE spent all night queuing for something we   
don't even have."  
Fatora shrugged. "Not my problem. This pathetic toy's got everyone   
acting weird. I don't see what all the fuss is about."  
That much was true- Fatora was totally unable to comprehend Ura's   
appeal. However, she had not overlooked its potential. There was a serious   
amount of money to be made from that piece of crap.  
It was a brilliant plan. Having received a huge stock of Uras this morning,   
she had immediately hidden them in storage. Then tomorrow- the last   
possible chance for desperate parents to buy the accursed thing- she would   
unveil them, complete with an enhanced price tag. And they'd pay, the   
suckers. Now, who else would be clever enough to devise a plan like that?   
Nobody. Ha.  
Unfortunately, the plan involved keeping the existence of the toys a secret   
from everybody, including Rune. She wouldn't approve of this approach.   
She didn't have Fatora's business acumen, bless her.  
"It's a shame we couldn't restock the Uras today," Rune said. "It's   
strange... this morning, I could have sworn I saw a delivery of them..."  
"Oh, that?" Fatora smiled nervously. "You're mistaken, sis. That was...   
um..." she looked around her for inspiration, and caught sight of the food   
section. "Yeah, it was... celery."  
"Celery? Such a large delivery? But why?"  
"It's a traditional Christmas food," Fatora bluffed.  
Rune raised an eyebrow. "Is it really? My goodness, I had no idea."  
Fatora sighed in relief. "Yes, well, I HAVE made it my business to   
research Christmas, really quite exhaustively. I take this job very   
seriously, you know."  
Alielle sidled up to Fatora. "Hey, Fatora..." she said longingly, "don't you   
think it's time you had a break?"  
"A break?" Fatora echoed. "What do you mean?"  
Alielle winked. "Oh, you know..."  
"Riiiight. THAT sort of a break. Yeah, lead the way!" Fatora looked back   
to Rune. "I'll be back in two or three hours."  
Alielle's face lit up. "Oh, Fatora! You ARE feeling energetic today!"  
Fatora smiled. "Anyway, Rune, I'm sure you're well qualified to handle   
everything. Oh, one tip- if the crowds get ugly, I recommend hitting them   
with something."  
  
"Now, watch carefully. I'm going to... Parnasse, are you paying   
attention?"  
"What? Oh, yes, Miss Miz! Sorry, what were you saying?"  
Miz sighed. Bloody work experience kid. He only got in here because his   
sister's sleeping with the deputy manager...  
"I was just trying to show you my special sales technique. I've been   
running this jewellery counter for years now, and it's taught me a thing or   
two about salesmanship."  
"Oh, interesting," Parnasse sighed, wishing he'd been given the task of   
supervising the women's changing rooms as he'd requested.  
"Male customers are always the best, because they're invariably buying   
for their wives or girlfriends. So it's easy to exploit their guilt."  
"Guilt? Over what?"  
Miz smiled. "It doesn't matter. Men always have something to be guilty   
about. Aha..." She noticed a customer approaching. "Here comes a likely   
candidate. Watch carefully."  
The boy who approached the counter was short, with black, slightly   
unkempt hair. He wore a long beige jacket and a distant expression.  
"Hello, welcome!" Miz said brightly.  
He didn't respond. He just stared at the various rings on display in the   
glass case.  
Miz tried again. "Are you looking for something special? If you'd like, I   
can take something out of the case. Oh, let me show you this diamond and   
platinum ring that's been especially popular as a Christmas gift for   
girlfriends..."  
As Miz busied herself opening the case, Parnasse studied the customer   
carefully. He was weird. Suddenly, the boy gasped, noticing one ring in   
particular. He stared at it, transfixed.  
"Isn't it pretty?" Miz prompted, proudly displaying one of the rings. "Uh...   
sir?"  
The boy snapped out of it. "Huh?"  
At last, a response. "I can recommend any of these. I can just imagine   
your girlfriend's happy face when she sees this!"  
"Well, uh..." the boy began, "I was... I was just looking for right now, but   
thanks."  
He moved away.  
"That's okay," Miz replied, trying to hide her disappointment. "Come   
again."  
Keiichi Morisato took one last look at the display case, and left.  
"What was HIS problem?" Parnasse frowned. "It was like he was in a   
trance or something."  
"I have no idea," Miz shrugged. "Must be the time of year. Freak."  
"Hey, look," Parnasse pointed out. "Here comes another one."  
A second boy approached- almost identical to the last, only slightly taller.   
He too began staring at the display case.  
Miz sighed. "Can I help you?"  
Much to her relief, he spoke. "Oh, hi. My name's Makoto. I'm looking for   
a ring to get for my girlfriend."  
"Really?" Miz smiled wryly. "How romantic."  
"Well," Makoto said, "I sort of let her down yesterday, and I need to make   
it up."  
"I see," Miz nodded. She leaned over to Parnasse. "What did I tell you?   
Guilt. It's what the jewellery trade's built on."  
"Is there anything you'd recommend?" Makoto asked.  
"Why, yes," Miz beamed. "This ring in particular has been a very popular   
gift. I'll bet your girlfriend would just adore it!"  
"That's... kind of expensive..." Makoto observed.  
"Well, yes, I suppose it is. But surely it's a small price to pay for your   
girlfriend's love, right?"  
"Uh..." Makoto said uncomfortably, "I'll have to think about this for a   
while..."  
  
Fatora unlocked the store room, and gestured Alielle inside.  
"Nobody's going to bother us in here," she smiled. "Alielle, be a darling   
and close the door, would you?"  
Alielle dutifully shut the door and switched on the light. Immediately, she   
noticed the huge pile of Uras in the middle of the room.  
"Wow... what are THEY doing here? I thought we didn't have any..."  
Damn, thought Fatora. She'd forgotten about them.  
"Well, we. just haven't got around to displaying them yet. We'll put   
them out eventually. Maybe. Tomorrow, I should think."  
Alielle frowned slightly, then shrugged. "Oh well."  
She grabbed Fatora, and the pair stumbled into the pile of Uras.  
"Bones okay?"  
Fatora looked up in confusion. "Pardon?"  
"It wasn't me," Alielle replied. "I think you fell on one of the Uras."  
"Oh," Fatora said. "God, I hate those things."  
  
Kiriya and Nahato crossed the road that separated the rival stores.  
"What did you think of Diva's?" Nahato asked.  
"Impressive," Kiriya replied.  
"And the staff? It appeared to me that they were all somewhat... well,   
terrified. As if they were in imminent danger of losing their jobs."  
Kiriya nodded. "Yes, I noticed that too. The management must be superb."  
Nahato smiled. "There's nothing like a well-motivated employee."  
They came to a stop in front of Jagdhar's.  
"Let the investigation continue," Kiriya announced. They walked on into   
the shop.  
"Good morning, and welcome to Jagdhar's," a young woman said   
cheerfully. "I'm Rune Venus Jagdhar, the store's manager. May I be of   
assistance?"  
Nahato looked up to Kiriya for a prompt. "Um..."  
"You're American, aren't you?" Rune continued.  
"Why, yes, we are," Kiriya said. "How can you tell?"  
"Oh, I just have a gift for that sort of thing. Are you tourists?"  
Kiriya paused, then nodded. "Yes. We're here for the next few days."  
"How nice! And is this your son?" Rune gestured towards Nahato.  
"Uh... no. This is my nephew," Kiriya smiled weakly.  
"Well, we have plenty for children here. Perhaps he'd like to visit Santa?"  
Nahato considered this prospect for a moment. "That would be   
acceptable," he said finally.  
"Excellent," Rune smiled. "I'll show you the way."  
The pair followed Rune through the aisles.  
"This should prove a valuable opportunity to assess the technical quality   
of their version of Santa," Nahato whispered to Kiriya.  
"I suppose so," Kiriya whispered back. "Nahato... I don't look old enough   
to have a kid, do I?"  
"Nah... think it's your hips. They're too wide."  
"Ooh! They are NOT! Are they?"  
  
"Ho-ho-ho," the red-suited man said. "Merry Christmas. I'm jolly old   
Saint Nick."  
"A little small, isn't he?" Nahato hissed to Kiriya. "Looks more like an   
elf."  
"Ssh!" Kiriya urged. "Play along with it."  
Nahato approached the man.  
"Hello, little boy. And what's your name?"  
"Nahato," said Nahato.  
"And what would you like for Christmas?"  
Nahato sighed. "I really don't care."  
"Oh, come along. You must want something."  
"Well..." Nahato pondered, "a DVD player. And a chemistry set. And   
some Harry Potter books. And Buckaroo."  
"Very nice." The man was heard to sigh as he picked up a small parcel   
from the pile to his left. "Here's a present for you."  
"Thank you," Nahato said, taking the present. "I'm sure I'll treasure it."  
He walked back towards Kiriya.  
"Goodbye, little boy," Santa called. "Be good."  
"We'll see," Nahato said under his breath.  
Kiriya looked at the parcel. "Hmm. The one you got at Diva's was   
bigger."  
"Let's try him again," Nahato suggested. "But this time, I'll be the   
difficult child."  
  
"Ho-ho-ho. Merry Christmas. I'm jolly old... Didn't I just do you?"  
"That was my twin brother," Nahato said.  
"Oh. Well, what's your name, little boy?"  
"Um... Kevin."  
"And what would you like for Christmas?"  
"You're not the real Santa."  
The man sighed. Bloody hell, not again.  
"If you don't think I'm the real Santa, then why did you bother coming to   
see me?"  
Nahato paused. Good point... "I thought I might get a present out of it. But   
you're not the real Santa, are you?"  
"No!" the man said angrily. "No, I am not! My name is Doctor Ian E.   
Schtalubaugh! I shouldn't be doing this ridiculous job, I was a respected   
scientist! I should have stayed in the academic system, but no, I thought   
the money would be better in industry..."  
Nahato glanced nervously at Kiriya, who just shrugged.  
"...and they told me I wasn't 'forward-thinking' enough. You've got to   
move with the times, they said. And then they fired me! Now I spend my   
days dressed in a red suit, repressing the urge to throttle obnoxious   
children like you..."  
Nahato backed away. "Interesting approach... I'll be going, I think..."  
Schtalubaugh grunted to himself. "I should have taken the job in that call   
centre... Much more dignified..."  
Nahato rejoined Kiriya. "I think this guy warrants further investigation."  
"In what way?"  
"Well, I haven't tested his reaction to girls yet. Come on, I'm going round   
again."  
Kiriya nodded. "Understood. I'll get the wig."  
  
This was ridiculous.  
It might have been illegal too- he wasn't sure about that. But Jinnai had   
been insistent, and he usually got his way.  
Fujisawa entered Jagdhar's, and tried to remain discreet. Now, he had to   
figure out where the stock room was...  
He wandered aimlessly around the shop for a while. Despite having   
worked just across the street for some time, he'd never actually been in   
here before. Suddenly, he heard a voice which sounded oddly familiar.  
"...and this ring was, in fact, crafted by the famous Russian designer, Nina   
Kirov. As you can see, it's... Masamichi?"  
He looked back in surprise. "Miz, is that you? I haven't seen you in..."  
"It must be nearly six years," she finished excitedly. She glanced back at   
the customer. "Uhm... Parnasse, why don't you take over?"  
"Sure!" Parnasse grinned, eagerly embracing the opportunity for some   
responsibility. "Now... this ring is, um, gold... well, sort of gold-coloured   
anyway. And there seems to be some sort of precious stone here... not sure   
exactly what type, but..."  
Fujisawa walked over to Miz. "Miz, I don't believe it! Have you really   
been working here all this time?"  
  
"Anything to report?" Diva probed.  
Jinnai nodded. "Jagdhar's aren't selling Uras today. However, it's possible   
that they DO have some, and are just holding them back, just as we are."  
"And do you have any way of finding out?"  
"But of course. I sent one of our employees in there on a reconnaissance   
mission. He's under instructions to find the stock room, gain entry and   
look for any trace of Uras."  
"Excellent," Diva replied. "But this man... are you certain of his loyalty?"  
"He can be trusted," Jinnai assured her. "Besides, he's been given strict   
orders not to fraternise with the enemy."  
  
"...and so, after I left art college, I wanted to be a freelance designer. I   
tried that for a few years, but I wasn't making much money, so I ended up   
working here." Miz sat down next to Fujisawa. "And what about you?   
Still climbing mountains?"  
Fujisawa smiled. "Yeah, when I have the time. I went up the Andes last   
year..."  
"Do you remember," she said quietly, "when we were still in college, you   
said one day we'd go up Mount Fuji together? We never did..."  
"Well..." Fujisawa offered, "we still could..."  
Miz tried to hide her delight, and failed. "Oh, Masamichi! After all this   
time... this is so unexpected..."  
"Miss Miz!" Parnasse called. "I can't get the lid off the display case!   
Help!"  
Miz looked over at Parnasse, and the growing line of irate customers. "Oh   
dear," she said. "I should be getting back."  
Fujisawa nodded. "Yeah, I've got stuff to do. I need to find something   
for... someone."  
"Really?" Miz took out a map of the store. "Well, take this. It should help   
you find your way around. Would you like to meet up with me again   
tonight?"  
"Yeah, I'll come back as soon as I finish my shift," Fujisawa promised.  
"Miss Miz, help!" Parnasse called desperately. "My sleeve is caught in the   
cash register again!"  
Miz shook her head, and made her way back to the counter. "I'll see you   
tonight, then!"  
"Alright," Fujisawa smiled to himself. Things were looking up.  
  
Half an hour later, Fujisawa had finally located the store room. The map   
Miz had given him hadn't been much use, as the store room wasn't   
actually marked on it. But after some thorough searching, he had found his   
target. Now all he had to do was figure out how to get inside without   
arousing suspicion. After some careful consideration, he decided to take   
advantage of the key that somebody had helpfully left in the door.  
As casually as he could, he opened the door and stepped inside. The   
enormous stack of Uras that loomed before him was only the second most   
surprising thing that greeted his eyes.  
Fatora and Alielle screamed, and dived into the pile of Uras.  
"Pervert!" Fatora yelled. "Freak!"  
Fujisawa gasped. "I... I'm so sorry, miss... and, um, another miss? Oh,   
Jesus, what is this?"  
"Why is face red?" said one of the Uras. Fatora threw it at Fujisawa.  
"How dare you! What are you doing in here anyway?" Fatora demanded.   
"Are you one of the staff? I don't recognise you!"  
"Please, this is all a mistake!" Fujisawa insisted. "I honestly didn't intend   
to interrupt you in... whatever it was you were doing."  
Fatora was unconvinced. "I'm calling security! You're in big trouble,   
pervert! You're gonna regret this! Um... could you pass me my clothes?"  
"And mine?" Alielle called.  
  
The hastily dressed Fatora and Alielle headed up to security.  
"I hate people like that!" Fatora growled. "Spying on us at our most...   
intimate moments!"  
Alielle sighed. "I'm sure it was just a mistake. He seemed as embarrassed   
as we were."  
"Only because we saw him!" Fatora opened the door to the security office.   
She immediately frowned at Fujisawa.  
"You! You're in so much trouble! I can't even begin to describe how   
much trouble it is that you're in. But guess what? I'm going to try   
anyway..."  
Alielle walked over to the television and turned the sound up.  
"...reports say that Tokyo Tower is on the verge of collapse today, due to   
an inherent structural problem which had gone unnoticed until now. An   
architect we interviewed earlier simply said- 'Oh shit'..."  
Alielle gulped. "Oh sh... I mean, oh dear. Fatora, I'm just going to get   
some fresh air..."  
She quickly left the room. Jagdhar's Head of Security Londs entered,   
accompanied by Miz.  
"Masamichi?" Miz asked. "What's going on?"  
"I'll tell you what's going on!" Fatora snapped. "This man is an employee   
of Diva's!"  
Miz stared back blankly. "I know."  
Fatora continued unfazed. "Not only that- he broke into the stores in order   
to spy on Alielle and myself as we indulged in a beautiful, natural act of   
love... and possibly to commit industrial espionage as well, I don't really   
know or care."  
"Miz, it's not what it looks like!" Fujisawa insisted.  
"But the mystery remains," Fatora said, "how did he get the key to the   
store room? Miz Mishtal, the security cameras show YOU talking to the   
accused shortly before the incident in question. I put it to you that you   
gave your little friend the keys!"  
"That's ridiculous!" Miz replied.  
"Yeah," Fujisawa said. "You see, the keys had actually been left in the..."  
"Quiet!" Fatora demanded. "I don't like perverts, and I don't like people   
who help them perpetrate their evil acts! Miz, the cameras show you   
giving him a map!"  
"I give maps to a lot of customers... and the store room isn't even..."  
"Shut up! You're fired!" Fatora snapped. "Get out! Beat it! Go on!"  
Londs ushered Miz out of the room. Fatora turned her attention back to the   
distraught Fujisawa.  
"And as for you... Londs, call the police!"  
Londs sighed. "Miss Jagdhar... I'm afraid that would be pointless. You   
see, we have no proof that he's done anything illegal."  
"Um... well..." Fatora pondered, "could you at least beat him up?"  
"I don't think so."  
"Not even a bit?"  
"Sorry."  
"Damn."  
  
"...and in another incredible act of heroism, Magical Girl Astounding   
Ariel saved Tokyo Tower by hitting it with an Improved Structural   
Integrity Beam..."  
Diva switched off the news broadcast as Jinnai entered her office.   
"Yes?"  
"Bad news," Jinnai frowned. "It seems Jagdhar's have a huge supply of   
Uras. They're holding them back for tomorrow."  
"Then we no longer have the monopoly."  
"Don't worry," Jinnai said reassuringly. "We're not beaten yet. I've   
already devised a cunning backup plan for use in this situation..."  
  
"The only woman I ever loved..." Fujisawa sighed. "I saw her again for   
the first time in years, and somehow I got her fired."  
Makoto and Nanami nodded in sympathy.  
"Are you still going to see her again?" Nanami asked.  
"How could I? I've just cost her her job."  
"Yeah," Makoto reasoned, "but it wasn't your fault. I'm sure she'll   
understand."  
Fujisawa shook his head. "It doesn't matter. I'll never be able to look her   
in the eye again."  
"This is all my stupid brother's fault," Nanami growled. "He should never   
have sent you in there. Well, I say that's enough! We should stand up for   
ourselves!"  
"What are you suggesting, Nanami?" Makoto asked.  
Nanami stood up. "I propose... a strike!"  
"Yeah!" Makoto said excitedly. "We can hit the company where it hurts,   
right?"  
"I'm with you," Fujisawa nodded. "Striking right before Christmas- the   
company'll have no choice but to listen to us!"  
"No, no, no, I don't think you understand," Nanami interrupted. "We can't   
strike now..."  
"Why not?"  
"Well, it's not legal," she explained. "First I'll have to contact the union,   
then we'll have to convene a meeting of representatives, then if the   
motion's approved, it goes to the vote... but if things go well, we'll be able   
to go on strike as early as next May!"  
Makoto and Fujisawa sighed. "Never mind," Fujisawa said.  
"What?" Nanami asked, puzzled. "You were both so enthusiastic about   
the idea a minute ago..."  
  
So far, so good. Nobody seemed to have recognised him.  
Jinnai ducked into the bathroom. This was a very delicate plan, and he   
didn't trust anyone else to carry it out.   
Yes, the time had come... for sabotage.  
"Welcome to the bathroom," a disembodied voice said. "Here at Jagdhar's   
we aim to provide you with toilet facilities of the very highest calibre, and   
the ultimate interactive bathroom experience."  
"Stupid recorded messages," Jinnai muttered.  
"You will find toilets to your left," the voice continued, "and to your right,   
sinks."  
"Shut up!" Jinnai shouted. He walked over to the first sink, and turned on   
the taps. He laughed triumphantly.  
"All I have to do is leave all the taps running, and this bathroom will   
flood!" He moved from one sink to the next, until every tap was on at   
maximum.  
"What brilliance!" he smiled to himself. "And now, I just have to do this   
in the other fifteen bathrooms. Soon, this whole store will be flooded!"  
Jinnai went to exit the bathroom, but was stopped by the computerised   
voice.  
"We have detected that you have left several taps running. These will now   
be automatically switched off."  
"Wait... no! What are you doing? No!" He watched in frustration as the   
water to each tap was gradually cut off.  
"Damn hi-tech Japanese bathrooms! My brilliant plan is ruined! Take   
THAT, lousy sink!"  
He kicked out at one of the sinks in anger, which, to his surprise, flew   
from the wall. A jet of water spurted from the exposed pipe.  
"We have detected that you have just destroyed a sink," said the voice,   
"This bathroom will now flood."  
Jinnai smiled. This plan was going to work after all.  
He picked up the fallen sink and brought it crashing down on another.  
"You have just destroyed a second sink. This bathroom will flood more   
quickly."  
Jinnai began to laugh hysterically as he smashed each sink in turn. "Who's   
laughing now, huh, Mr Know-It-All Super Intelligent Bathroom? You   
think you're so damn clever... but I've won! How do you like that,   
smartass? Take that!"  
"You have just destroyed a third sink. A fourth. A fifth. A sixth. And a   
toilet. And another..."  
  
"Okay, I've decided I'd like to buy... that ring."  
Makoto stood at Jagdhars' jewellery counter, which was now ably staffed   
by Parnasse.  
"That one?"  
"No, that one."  
"Wait... is this the one you mean?"  
Makoto sighed impatiently. "Third one along, fifth one back."  
"Ah, this one!"  
"Yes."  
"Okay..." Parnasse took the ring out of the case. "Now, that's fifty eight   
thousand yen, plus three percent sales tax... oh, where did I put my   
calculator?"  
Makoto frowned. "It comes to fifty nine thousand, seven hundred and   
forty yen."  
"Does it?"  
"I'm afraid so." Makoto handed over his hard-earned cash to Parnasse.  
"I'll just be a minute," Parnasse smiled weakly as he wrestled manfully   
with the cash register.  
Makoto stared at the ring. "Oh, Ifurita. I hope this makes you happy..."  
"Mi... Mizuhara?" said a shocked voice.  
Makoto turned around. Jinnai was standing a short distance away.   
"Uh oh."  
"What the hell do you think you're doing in here? Didn't I warn you?"  
Makoto panicked. "Well, you see, I... hey, come to think of it, what are   
YOU doing in here?"  
"Nothing!" Jinnai said defensively. "I just came in to... um... use the   
bathroom."  
"What's wrong with our bathrooms?"  
Jinnai grunted. "More to the point, what's wrong with our jewellery   
department? How dare you spend money in a rival store!"  
"Look, don't I have the right to choose where I spend my money?"   
Makoto objected.  
"Oh, I've had it with you, Mizuhara! You've consistently exhibited   
dangerously high levels of insight and independent thought. You're a   
liability! Or, should I say, you WERE a liability! As of this moment,   
you're fired!"  
Makoto gasped. "But... you can't! I mean... it's Christmas!"  
"So?"  
"So... well... I don't know. Um..."  
Jinnai laughed, "Goodbye, Mizuhara!" He headed for the exit.  
"No..." Makoto said to himself. "What have I done?"  
"Sir?" Parnasse called. "Do you want your ring in a bag? Um, hello?"  
  
"Bloody kids," Schtalubaugh grumbled. "I deserve more than this. I used   
to know Watson and Crick..."  
He pushed the bathroom door. Strange. It seemed to be stuck.  
With all his available strength, he barged the door open, and a tidal wave   
of water hit him in the face.  
"I hate this job..."  
  
"Fatora!" Rune called desperately. "Somebody's been... demolishing the   
bathrooms! This floor's already starting to flood!"  
"My God..." Fatora gasped. "Quick, turn on the sprinkler system!"  
Rune sighed. "No, Fatora. The sprinklers protect against fires, not floods."  
"Oh. Well, turn on the... do we by any chance have some sort of anti-flood   
system?"  
"No."  
"Aw, shit!"  
Fatora and Rune ran from the office, only to find the customers' attention   
focused on something else entirely.  
"Prepare to be... astounded!" shouted the girl in the blue costume. "I am   
Magical Girl Astounding Ariel, and I will save this store from flooding!"  
"Wow!" Fatora grinned. "It's Ariel, and in our store! Hey, Rune, look! It's   
Ariel!"  
"Yes... I noticed..."  
Ariel held up her baton. "Water... come to me!"  
Streams of water began to encircle the Magical Girl. More and more   
water, from all over the store, was soon swirling around her.  
Ariel looked up at the pillar of water above her. "And now... the Magical   
Water Spiral... Thing. Go!"  
She guided the stream towards one of the open windows. "I'll simply aim   
all of the water for that gutter down there in the street."  
  
Makoto stood out in the street, examining the ring. A romantic gesture it   
might well be, but this could look bad. He'd just lost his job, and spent   
almost all his money on an expensive ring. It suddenly seemed a little bit   
irresponsible. Oh well, at least he had a present for Ifurita.  
One of the things Makoto learned that day was that you should never take   
anything for granted, because you never know when a two thousand   
gallon column of water is going to drop out of the sky and onto your head.  
The water's impact sent him sprawling across the pavement. To his horror,   
he realised that he no longer had hold of the ring.  
"No!" he screamed. "The ring! Where did it go? Where is it?"  
"Sorry!" called a girl from the fourth floor of Jagdhar's. "Didn't see you   
there!"  
  
"Magical Carpet Drying Beam... Go!"  
In a flash, the whole store was dry again. Rune approached Ariel and   
smiled.  
"Thank you very much for your help, Miss Ariel."  
"Oh, it's nothing," Ariel replied modestly. "I'm just doing my duty."  
The gathering of customers and staff applauded. A very wet Santa forced   
his way to the front, and began wringing the water out of his hat.  
"I'd like to tender my resignation," he muttered. "This job is too damn   
stressful."  
Ariel laughed. "Oh, Santa. You just need a little rest, that's all."  
"Don't bloody call me that! My name's..."  
"Now, Santa, there are children present," Ariel smiled. "We wouldn't   
want to disappoint..."  
"Children? Don't talk to me about children..."  
Fatora laughed. "Heh. Ariel's cool. I wish Alielle was here to see this."  
The crowd went quiet. Fatora looked around in confusion.  
"What?"  
Ariel sighed and walked up to her. "Fatora..."  
"How do you know my name?"  
"Never mind that. Now, look at me very closely. Okay? See anyone you   
recognise?"  
Fatora paused. "Umm..."  
"It's me! Alielle! I'm the Magical Girl!"  
"Oh..." Fatora said. "Oh yeah. It IS you. I never would have guessed! Hey,   
Rune, guess what? Ariel is really Alielle!"  
Rune shook her head. "I know. We ALL know. It's obvious. They have   
similar names, they look identical..."  
"Aha!" Fatora interrupted. "But as a Magical Girl, you're protected by a   
special field that disguises your true identity. Right?"  
"Um, well, no," Ariel replied. "You're thinking of Superman."  
"We tried to tell you that Alielle was the Magical Girl," Rune continued,   
"but it was difficult. We were all so embarrassed that you hadn't figured it   
out for yourself. After all, everyone knew..."  
"Hey!" Parnasse called from the back of the crowd, "I'm her brother, and I   
didn't know!"  
"That's because you're an idiot!" Alielle called back. "How did he ever   
get work experience here anyway?"  
"Well," Rune replied, "admittedly, Miz WAS the only person who agreed   
to supervise him. Actually... where is Miz? I haven't seen her since this   
morning."  
"Yeah," Ariel nodded. "Where is she?"  
Fatora smiled nervously. "Miz? Oh, well... there was an incident earlier   
on, one thing led to another, and I... sort of fired her."  
"You did WHAT?"  
  
"Hello?" the boy said, knocking on the window. "Is anyone there? Please,   
let me in!"  
Parnasse opened the door and leaned out. "Sorry. We're just closing for   
the night."  
"But you have to let me in!" he begged. "I need to buy a ring that I saw   
earlier!"  
"Oh yeah..." Parnasse replied. "You WERE here earlier on today. The   
staring guy. Well, okay, I'll let you in... but you have to promise to buy   
something."  
He opened the door fully and ushered the boy inside.  
"Thanks so much," the boy smiled in relief. "I'm Keiichi."  
"Parnasse," said Parnasse.  
"I remember it clearly," Keiichi said, walking up to the display case. "It   
cost fifty eight thousand yen, and it was right... aagh! It's not there!"  
"Hmm?" Parnasse studied the glass case. "Oh, THAT one. Sorry, some   
guy came in earlier and bought it."  
Keiichi sighed. "But... that was the exact same ring I saw in my dream...   
you don't have any more of that type?"  
"Afraid not," Parnasse replied. "Would you consider buying a different   
ring?"  
"No! Of course I wouldn't! That's completely... well, actually, I guess all   
rings ARE kind of alike. Hey, I quite like that one, there."  
Parnasse followed his gaze. "This one?"  
"No, THAT one. Only forty thousand yen..." he smiled to himself. "Aw,   
who's gonna know the difference?"  
  
Makoto wandered through the crowded, neon-lit streets. He couldn't go   
home. In the space of one day, he had lost his job, spent all his money on   
an overpriced ring, and lost that too. How could he tell Ifurita?  
"Mizuhara? You again?" a voice said.  
"Jinnai..." he said weakly. "If you want to gloat, don't bother. I'm already   
at rock bottom."  
Jinnai smiled. "Now, Mizuhara, we've both had disappointments today.   
You were fired, and I failed to utterly obliterate my rivals. But, hey, let's   
not have any hard feelings. It is Christmas, after all."  
Makoto looked at Jinnai forlornly. "Can I have my job back?"  
"No."  
"Thought not. This sucks. I'm starting to wish... that I never existed!"  
Jinnai responded calmly. "Well, we all feel like that sometimes, don't   
we?"  
"Really? Even you?"  
"Yes," Jinnai nodded. "Sometimes we all wish you never existed. Oh well,   
Merry Christmas."  
Jinnai walked away smugly. Makoto had a sudden urge to find the nearest   
bridge.  
  
"I don't believe I'm hearing this!"  
"What?" Fatora said innocently. "All I was saying was that you should   
consider the financial benefits of this whole Magical Girl thing you've got   
going. Think of the merchandising opportunities! Astounding Ariel dolls,   
t-shirts... hey, the store could sponsor you!"  
Alielle frowned. "Forget it. Magical Girls do NOT sell out!"  
"Fine, fine," Fatora tutted. "No need to be so tetchy, girl."  
"Tetchy? Do you have any idea how selfish you've been today? Firing   
Miz, a loyal employee, for no good reason. And don't think I don't know   
hat you're up to with all those Uras you've got stashed away! You're   
planning to sell them tomorrow at some ridiculously inflated price, aren't   
you?"  
Fatora shrugged. "Well, it IS a good business tactic."  
"It's completely immoral. It goes against everything we Magical Girls   
stand for. And another thing! You finally find out that I'm a Magical Girl,   
and all you're interested in is sticking a Jagdhar's logo to my ass and   
promoting me as your latest product!"  
"Hey, that's not fair!" Fatora objected. "This Magical Girl thing is   
amazing. I have so many questions..."  
"Like what?"  
"Well, do you by any chance have a nude transformation sequence?"  
Alielle turned away in disgust. "That's it. I've had it with you and your   
selfishness. I'm leaving!"  
  
"In a nightclub in town, I would love to sit down,  
All the seats are taken, all the hearts are breaking,  
Have you been here before? Got a boyfriend, for sure,  
To Chicago I'll go, friendly people, I'm told..."  
Afura casually sang along to the CD as she checked that she'd got   
everything packed. At last, a holiday. Her line of work could be tiring.  
"When will we go...  
To Chicago?"  
A bleep from her laptop signalled an incoming message. She paused the   
music and waited.  
"To Angels Second Class Afura Mann, Shayla-Shayla and Qawoor   
Towles. This is Peorth. You have been selected for emergency   
assignments, effective immediately. Data is being transmitted now."  
"What?" Afura moaned. "Damn it, I was just about to leave!"  
Peorth continued. "Furthermore, we realise this is cutting into your   
vacation time. Succeed, and you stand an excellent chance of promotion."  
"Promotion, eh?" Afura smiled. "Ah well. Duty calls."  
  
RURI: And another problem with Shape of Things to Come. If you ask   
me, it was perfectly obvious who the Purple Lighting was...  
MARI: Hey, aren't you paying attention? I'm building up to the exciting   
climax!"  
RURI: (sigh) So the priestesses are angels. How original. And you still   
haven't explained who the Phantom Tribe are supposed to be.  
MARI: Well, maybe if you listened and stopped interrupting, you'd find   
out. Damn freaky kid...  
RURI: A freak I may well be, but I'm ten times more psychologically   
stable that you'll ever be.  
MARI: Oh, just you wait until you hit adolescence, girl. I don't wanna be   
around when THAT happens. Jesus... anyway, on with the story. Where   
was I? Right, three angels had been dispatched to Earth. But their   
assignments would be anything but easy...  
  
At last, Jinnai could see light. It felt as if he'd been crawling through these   
damn vents forever...  
He wasn't about to admit defeat yet. He'd promised Diva they'd have the   
monopoly on Uras tomorrow, and they WOULD have it.  
If it meant he had to burn Jagdhar's to the ground, well, that was just   
business.  
Finally, he reached the vent cover that would release him into the store's   
main foyer. He cave the cover a good push, and, to his frustration, it   
stayed exactly where it was. He pushed again. Still nothing.  
"Here, let me help you with that," said a female voice from the outside.  
Jinnai gasped. "Wha... who's there? This place is supposed to be   
deserted!"  
"Don't worry, Katsuhiko," the woman said, helpfully removing the vent   
cover.  
Jinnai struggled from the outlet and climbed down to the ground. He was   
dressed from head to toe in black, which only served to make him look   
even thinner than he already was.  
"How do you know who I am?" he asked the mysterious woman.  
She replied with a question of her own. "What are you doing in here? I   
thought your store was the one across the street."  
"No, you answer my question first!"  
"Fine," the woman said dispassionately. "I'm Afura Mann, Angel Second   
Class. More specifically, I'm your guardian angel. You're very thin."  
Jinnai blinked. "What?"  
"I said you're very thin. I didn't expect you..."  
"No, I meant the part about you being an angel."  
"Oh, that," Afura replied. "Yes, as I said, I'm your guardian angel."  
Jinnai smiled and shook his head. "No, you're not. Evidently you're a   
woman with some very serious mental and emotional difficulties."  
Afura frowned. "I AM your guardian angel, Katsuhiko Jinnai."  
"Well, I don't believe in angels," Jinnai retorted. "Nor do I believe in   
witches, fairies or magical pixies."  
"Oh, shut up."  
  
"Ha! I don't need her!" Fatora slurred as she slammed the empty bottle   
down on the table. "Stupid Magical Girls and their high moral   
standards..."  
"Are you okay?" asked a female voice.  
"Hmm?" Fatora mumbled drunkenly. "Who said that?"  
"Look behind you, Fatora."  
Fatora turned around and saw a pale girl with light blue hair. "Oh God...   
there's a strange woman in my bedroom... help!" Fatora panicked until she   
remembered something. "Oh, wait. That's a GOOD thing. Hi."  
"I'm Qawoor Towles," the woman said. "I'm your..."  
"Hey," Fatora interrupted. "It looks like you're floating."  
"I am floating," Qawoor replied. "You see, I'm an angel."  
Fatora laughed. "Ohhh... that's a relief! I thought this stuff was affecting   
my vision for a second..."  
"Um... I think you're a little drunk," Qawoor pointed out.  
"Drunk? Me? Nonsense! I'm as sober as a choirgirl. During a booze   
shortage. In Saudi Arabia." Fatora laughed again, then fell over.  
Qawoor looked down at her and wondered what she should do. "Um...   
would you like me to help you up?"  
"She left me... left me! How could she? And right before Christmas, too,"   
Fatora moaned as she lay collapsed on the carpet.  
"You mean Alielle?" Qawoor guessed. "You seem very upset about her."  
"Well, of course I am!" Fatora grumbled, struggling to her feet. "I mean,   
wouldn't you be upset?"  
Qawoor nodded. "I suppose... but... you've had lots of girlfriends in the   
past. It doesn't usually bother you when you split up." She noticed a line   
of photographs on the wall. "Are these all your ex-girlfriends?"  
"Yeah," Fatora said. "All twenty-two of them. What about them?"  
"Well, most of them seem to be... celebrities of one kind or another.   
Models, popstars... isn't that Sakura Tamaro, the idol singer?"  
"It is indeed," Fatora replied. "She was stunning. Crap in bed though.   
Anyway, why are you so interested?"  
"It just seems odd to me. All of these famous women, then an ordinary girl   
like Alielle. What drew you to her?"  
Fatora shrugged. "I don't know. I just sort of... liked her. Aw, why did she   
have to go and leave?"  
"Wasn't it because you were being selfish and unscrupulous?"  
"Oh yeah. That."  
"You know," Qawoor said, "I could help you get her back..."  
"Oh yeah? How?"  
She smiled. "I have my ways. I am your guardian angel, after all."  
"You're an angel? Why didn't you mention that?"  
"I thought I did..."  
  
Makoto stood on the bridge, and stared down at the water below. It would   
just take one little jump...  
"I wouldn't do that if I were you."  
He spun round and saw a red-haired woman standing a few feet away.  
"Hey... where did you come from?"  
"The sky," she replied. "I'm Shayla. How's it goin'?"  
Makoto frowned. "I'm about to jump off a bridge. See if you can guess."  
Shayla shrugged. "Geez, there's no need to be like that. I've come to   
help."  
"Yeah?" Makoto said sceptically. "And why's that?"  
"Because I'm an angel," Shayla replied. "Your guardian angel."  
"There's no way you're an angel," Makoto said. "You don't look anything   
like one."  
"Hey!" Shayla objected. "What do you mean?"  
"I think it's the hair," Makoto said. "I just can't picture an angel with red   
hair. Sorry, but it's more how I imagine demons to look."  
Shayla looked dejected. "That's what the promotion board said. Well... I   
call it discrimination!"  
"Are you finished?" Makoto asked. "You see, I'd quite like to jump off   
this bridge now."  
"Oh, no you don't!" Shayla warned. "I've been sent down here to stop   
you, and that's what I'm going to do. Now, can we get on with this? I'm   
supposed to be going away on holiday tonight."  
Makoto stamped his feet in frustration. "Oh, go away! Can't you leave me   
in peace? I don't want your help!"  
"What about Ifurita?" Shayla challenged. "How's she gonna feel when she   
hears you killed yourself, huh?"  
"Ifurita's better off without a loser like me," Makoto sighed. "The whole   
world would be a better place if I never existed!"  
"I hate cases like this," Shayla grumbled to herself. "Whine, whine, moan,   
wallowing in self pity, I... what did you just say? Never existed, huh?"  
"Well, yeah..." said Makoto, confused by the strange expression on   
Shayla's face.  
"That, my suicidal friend, can be arranged. Would you like to see the   
world as it would be if you never existed?"  
Makoto was incredulous. "You can do that?"  
"Yep," Shayla smiled.  
"Are you telling me that a mere angel has the ability to alter history?"  
Shayla scowled. "Less of the 'mere' crap, you wimpy mortal. And no, we   
don't alter history. That's risky, not to mention quite expensive. What I'm   
proposing is an exact simulation of this world as it would be without your   
contribution. Then we'll see who's right! Agreed?"  
"Knock yourself out," Makoto sighed. "I don't really care."  
Shayla took out her mobile phone. "Hello? Yggdrasil? It's Shayla-Shayla.   
I need to speak to someone in Monitoring, Midgard Section... I don't   
mind. Anyone but Peorth. Yes, I can hold."  
She smiled weakly at Makoto as the telephone played a tinny instrumental   
version of 'Oi to the World.' "This should only take a second... oh, hello?   
Oh. Hi, Peorth. Look, I need a Mini Parallel Universe Simulation Kit.   
With instructions, if you have them... How long? Look, this is kind of an   
emergency... Yeah, he wants to jump off a bridge..."  
"Um..." Makoto interjected, "I really don't want to put you to any   
trouble..."  
"That's your problem, sister!" Shayla yelled into the phone. "Now, I need   
a simulation kit, and I need it... oh, no! Don't you put me on hold again...   
don't... damn it!"  
She looked down at Makoto. "I won't lie to you. This may take a while."  
  
"Are you out of your mind?" Jinnai screamed. "I'm on the verge of an   
immense corporate triumph! After tomorrow, Diva's will be the richest   
and most famous store in the whole of Japan! And you want me to   
change... now?"  
Afura followed Jinnai as he paced through the deserted store. "I'm trying   
to help you, Katsuhiko Jinnai. What you're doing isn't right!"  
He turned around and confronted her. "Do you think I care? Go tell it to   
the Pope, you dumb angel. Now, keep out of my way while I burn this   
building down."  
"Stop this!" Afura demanded. "You have to think of the consequences of   
your actions. You'll be destroying a whole business, a whole livelihood!"  
"They're a rich family. They'll survive," he muttered.  
"And what about all of the employees? Hundreds of people work here.   
They'll all be out of work, and on Christmas Eve!"  
Jinnai shook his head, and looked Afura in the eye. "Listen to me very   
carefully, Africa, or whatever your name is. I want you to try as hard as   
you can to get your head around this admittedly rather difficult little   
concept. I... DON'T... CARE! I really couldn't give a shit about what   
happens to those nobodies. Understand? Good. Now, I'll expect no more   
interruptions. Buzz off."  
"You don't care about your own employees either, do you?" Afura   
challenged. "I happen to know that right now, an ex-employee of yours is   
about to kill himself, all because you fired him."  
Jinnai looked up. "Wait... surely not... Mizuhara?"  
Aha, Afura thought. She'd hit a nerve. "Possibly Mizuhara."  
"Tell me!" Jinnai begged. "I have to know! Is it Mizuhara?"  
Now she knew she was getting somewhere. "Yes," she said casually. "It's   
Makoto Mizuhara."  
"Woo hoo!" Jinnai punched the air in celebration. "At last, and not a   
moment too soon! Good riddance to the bastard!"  
Afura put her head in her hands. This guy was impossible.  
"Why on Earth do you hate Makoto so much?" she asked wearily.  
"I'll tell you why," Jinnai replied. "For years, he kept me down, ruining   
my success, taking every opportunity to derail my plans... even back when   
we were at school. But then, I got my promotion. Finally, I was in a   
position of superiority over him! The tables, as they say, had been turned."  
Afura sighed. "Forgive me, but this all sounds rather petty."  
"It's the absolute truth!" Jinnai said, insistent.  
"Very well," Afura replied. "We'll take a look, shall we?"  
  
"Where are we?" Jinnai demanded, looking around him. "Why is it light   
all of a sudden?"  
"Look carefully," Afura said. "This is your old school. Precisely one week   
after you were elected student president."  
Jinnai smiled, reminiscing. "Ah, yes. The good old days. When, for a   
tragically brief time, the school lived happily under my benign rule."  
"I think 'dictatorship' was a more popular term," Afura replied.   
"Nonsense," Jinnai scoffed. "I was adored by the students."  
"In that case," Afura challenged, "why did you need those guys?"  
The pair observed as a gang of large and violent looking students marched   
down the corridor, barging others out of the way. In the middle, protected   
by his menacing minders, was the young Jinnai.  
"Hey," Jinnai said in recognition. "I remember them. My official   
presidential bodyguards. What was it we called them again?"  
One of the innocent students who caught sight of them gave Jinnai his   
answer. "Dude, let's get out of here! It's the Death Squad!"  
Afura shook her head.  
"What?" Jinnai prompted. "The name was purely ironic, I assure you."  
Afura observed the group closely. "I'm particularly intrigued by that   
young lady at the back..."  
Jinnai nodded. "Yes. Ifurita Tokeijikake. She was my prize asset... until..."  
The gang entered a room off the corridor. Afura followed them. "Come   
on. Let's see where they're going."  
"But what if someone sees us?" Jinnai asked.  
"Don't worry about that. Both of us are invisible to the people here. Now   
hurry up." Afura approached a wall, and passed silently through it.  
"Impressive." Jinnai tried to follow her, and bumped painfully into the   
wall.  
"Oh, I forgot to mention," he heard Afura say. "Only I can walk through   
walls."  
Jinnai rubbed his head. "Bitch..."  
  
Jinnai and Afura stood in the corner of the classroom, and watched as the   
younger Jinnai and his gang surrounded an unsuspecting student.  
"Um... hey guys," the student said. "What's up?"  
"Greetings, Makoto," the young Jinnai grinned.  
"Jinnai..." Makoto smiled weakly. "What do you want?"  
The young Jinnai sat on Makoto's desk. "I hear you've been spreading   
certain ugly rumours. Rumours that I rigged this election."  
In the corner, the older Jinnai nudged Afura. "You see? You see what I   
had to contend with? He was determined to bring me down by any means   
necessary!"  
"But the rumours WERE true," Afura reminded him. "You really did rig   
the election."  
"Well, politics can be a messy business sometimes. You must know that."  
"I'm afraid not," Afura replied. "For some reason, there are very few   
politicians in heaven."  
They turned their attention back to the confrontation.  
"Come on, Jinnai, this is stupid!" Makoto protested.  
"I take my position of authority very seriously!" the young Jinnai replied.   
"Opposition will not be tolerated! Deal with him, Ifurita!"  
The rest of the gang gasped in reverence as Ifurita, her eyes cold and   
determined, stepped forward.  
"Uh oh..." Makoto whimpered. "You know, you don't have to... ow!"  
Ifurita grabbed him by the collar and pushed him up against the wall.  
"C... come on, Ifurita..." Makoto urged, struggling for breath. "You don't   
have to do this. Why are you taking orders from a lunatic like Jinnai?"  
"I'm not a lunatic!" the young Jinnai screamed. "I'm student president,   
and that, my friend, is why she takes orders from me!"  
"And what do you get in return, huh, Ifurita? The right to be part of his   
pathetic gang of thugs? Jinnai's not your friend, you know."  
The younger Jinnai was growing increasingly agitated, partly due to   
Makoto's rhetoric, and partly because Ifurita hadn't hit him yet. In fact,   
she was starting to look at Makoto in a most unusual way...  
"Ifurita!" he urged. "Hurry up and punch him out!"  
She frowned. "I don't know..."  
"Just do it, you stupid bitch! Do it now!"  
"You shouldn't insult her like that," Makoto objected.  
"Keep out of this, Mizuhara!"  
Ifurita let go of Makoto. "He's right..." she said. "You're always insulting   
me." She turned to face Jinnai. "Just why DO I put up with it?"  
The young Jinnai stood his ground. "You put up with it because I'm   
president and I say what goes!"  
"Not for long!" she replied. "Makoto, you and I are going to the student   
council. We'll present your evidence against Jinnai."  
"You wouldn't dare!" the young Jinnai warned. "You'll have to get past   
me first!"  
Ifurita casually threw Jinnai to one side. She smiled at Makoto. "Thank   
you, Makoto."  
"For... what?"  
"For showing me who my real friends are." She took him by the hand, and   
the two left the room.  
Afura smiled at the scene. "Aw... that was so sweet..."  
"Sweet?" the older Jinnai ranted. "Didn't you see how he blatantly   
undermined my authority?"  
Afura tutted. "Yes, yes. Come along, let's take a look at your present."  
  
They stood in a boardroom, in which two dozen near-identical men in   
identical suits sat around a central table. At the far end of the room, a tall,   
pink-haired woman presided over the meeting.  
"Aha," Jinnai said to Afura. "The board at Diva's."  
"Miss Diva," one of the suited men spoke up, "have you chosen the head   
of our Christmas operation?"  
"Yes," Diva replied. "I give you... Katsuhiko Jinnai."  
"Who?" the board members said in unison.  
Afura and Jinnai watched as a second Jinnai entered the room and stood   
next to Diva.  
"He's no older than my grandson!" one of the men objected.  
"That's enough!" Diva barked. "I have been watching Mr Jinnai for some   
time. He's dedicated, efficient and ruthless. I have more confidence in him   
than I have in all of you faceless suits put together!"  
Both Jinnais smiled.  
"Well," Afura conceded, "that's nothing if not a ringing endorsement..."  
"This was where it began, a few weeks ago," Jinnai replied. "My glorious   
reign in Diva's, and the chance to get back at that thorn in my side   
Mizuhara! I've been given real authority. There's nothing like it." He   
smirked at Afura. "And you think I should loosen my grip? Come off it. I   
got this position because I am who I am. Dedicated, efficient and   
ruthless."  
Afura sighed. "You don't understand. If you don't change..."  
"What?" he challenged. "Come on, why is it so important that I change?"  
"I think," Afura said, "we should take a look at your future."  
  
The scenery changed again. Jinnai looked around him.  
"This is Diva's again, right?"  
"Yes," Afura replied. "This is the store five years from now. And I must   
admit, it seems to be doing rather well."  
Jinnai nodded. "Under MY supervision, no doubt. Five years, eh? Perhaps   
by this time, I've already succeeded Diva as manager."  
"Shall we find out?" Afura guided Jinnai into one of the lifts. "Going   
up..."  
Jinnai laughed. "And you said I should change. Well, it looks like I've   
done okay for myself just staying as I am."  
"You know..." Afura pondered, "there is something different about this   
place. It's the staff. They all look so much... happier."  
"Figures," Jinnai replied. "Obviously, they've come to love my almighty   
reign over them."  
The lift came to a stop, and the doors opened. Jinnai headed excitedly   
towards the manager's office.  
Afura followed. "I wouldn't be so sure if I were you..."  
Jinnai strode into the office. "Well, well, well. What an excellent office...   
I... have... Who's that guy?"  
"Which guy?" Afura asked.  
"Which one do you think? The guy in the big chair by the window. I don't   
recognise him..."  
"If I had to guess," Afura smiled wryly, "I'd say he's the manager."  
"THEN WHERE AM I?"  
She turned away. "You're nowhere, Katsuhiko Jinnai."  
"But... but how?" he pleaded. "How could this happen? I've made all the   
right moves... what could I have possibly done wrong?"  
  
Fatora and Qawoor stood at the open window.  
"We're going on a tour of the city," Qawoor said. "Get ready."  
"A tour? Now?" Fatora asked. "But it's freezing out there, and I'm hardly   
dressed for it..."  
Qawoor climbed onto the window ledge. "Come on. We'll be flying."  
"This may come as a surprise to you," Fatora frowned, "but I can't fly."  
"It's okay," Qawoor smiled. "Just hold onto me."  
Fatora nodded, and climbed up next to Qawoor. "Now I get it. Okay."  
"Oh! Um... you don't have to hold on quite so tightly!"  
"Heh heh. Sorry. Force of habit."  
Qawoor lifted off gently. She ascended, slowly at first, so as not to startle   
Fatora.  
"So where are we going?" Fatora asked.  
"Tokyo Tower," Qawoor replied. "You'll see why when we get there."  
"Um... Qawoor? Can anybody see us?"  
Qawoor looked back over her shoulder at Fatora. "No. I've made us   
invisible for the time being."  
"Good," Fatora said. "Because I've just remembered I'm not wearing any   
underwear under this night-dress..."  
Qawoor increased her speed. "We're getting closer now."  
"There it is," Fatora pointed out. "Tokyo Tower... hey, who's that?"  
They flew closer. At the peak of the tower sat a familiar Magical Girl.  
"It's Alielle..." Fatora said. "Well, actually it's Ariel, but, you know.   
Hey... looks kind of sad, doesn't she?"  
"Of course she's sad," Qawoor replied. "For the same reason you're sad.   
She misses you, and you miss her."  
"You know, you had a point earlier on," Fatora sighed. "I've broken up   
with so many girls in the past, and it never really bothered me. But this   
is... different."  
Qawoor nodded. "I don't think you ever really loved any of those other   
girls, did you? But you do love Alielle..."  
"Well..."  
"You do. Although you're probably too proud to admit it."  
Fatora groaned. "Okay..." she said through gritted teeth. "I... love her."  
"And she loves you," Qawoor said. "But she's also driven away by your   
selfishness. If you don't change, you'll drive her away for good."  
"But I don't know what I'm doing wrong!" Fatora sighed in exasperation.  
"Okay. I'll show you another way."  
  
The pair descended into an urban area.   
"Hey, I just thought of something," Fatora said. "When we're done, can I   
use this invisibility thing to spy in the girls' changing rooms?"  
"Fatora, please try and concentrate on the task in hand," Qawoor said   
patiently.  
"Oh yeah. So what now?"  
They hovered at an apartment window and peered inside. Fatora could see   
a woman sitting alone.  
"Who's that?"  
"You KNOW who that is, Fatora. You last saw her only this morning."  
Fatora shook her head. "Sorry. I have a terrible memory for faces."  
"It's Miz Mishtal! The dedicated, hardworking employee that you fired for   
absolutely no reason."  
"I had a good reason!" Fatora said defiantly. "She was... I... what was it   
again?"  
Qawoor continued. "If you'd have just controlled your anger, she'd be   
with the man she loves right now, instead of spending Christmas alone."  
Fatora rolled her eyes. "Okay. I get the point."  
"It's not just that. It's your whole attitude. Like this scheme to sell Uras at   
inflated prices."  
"Why does everyone have such a problem with that?" Fatora asked   
innocently. "It's just how business works. If you have a commodity which   
people are so desperate to buy that they'll pay anything, you charge as   
much as you can."  
"But did you ever stop to think about the parents who can't afford to pay   
your inflated prices? And how their children will feel when..."  
"It's just a stupid toy!" Fatora snapped. "In the grand scheme of things, it   
doesn't matter!"  
Qawoor sighed. "This isn't ordinary business, Fatora. It's Christmas. A   
festival celebrating generosity. Using it to take advantage of people is...   
well, it's not in the Christmas spirit."  
"That's where I disagree," Fatora replied. "Christmas is a Christian   
festival. Japan is not a Christian country. So, would you like explain how   
it is that we have Christmas here?"  
Qawoor didn't like where this was going one bit. "Oh... well..."  
"It's because we can make money out of it. That's the sole reason we   
bother with it here. Maybe I am exploiting people, but I'm only doing   
what everyone else is doing."  
  
"Ariel? What are you doing up here?"  
Ariel looked up, startled. It wasn't often one got visitors at the top of   
Tokyo Tower.  
"Oh, it's you, Sammy," she smiled weakly. "How's the family?"  
"Dysfunctional as ever." Pretty Sammy sat down next to Ariel. "And you?   
You look a little down."  
"I broke up with Fatora," she sighed. "I can't believe how selfish she can   
be. It's just unbelievable."  
Sammy frowned. "Well... if she really is that selfish, shouldn't you be   
happy that you broke up?"  
"I don't know," she replied. "All I know is that I'm depressed. Earlier on   
tonight, I discovered this guy who was planning to blow up the big   
Christmas tree in the city centre..."  
"And?" Sammy prompted. "Did you stop him?"  
"No. I was so depressed that I... called the police instead..."  
"Oh dear. You really ARE upset..."  
  
Shayla muttered to herself as she fiddled with a small device that looked   
suspiciously like a television remote control.  
"I hate setting the clock on these things... ah, here we go." She turned to   
Makoto. "Now, prepare to witness the world as it would be if you never   
existed!"  
Makoto looked up momentarily. "Oh. Okay."  
"Hey, you could at least show some interest. It's not every day you get to   
witness an alternate reality."  
Shayla pressed a button on the remote control, and the scenery around   
them began to distort. She smiled to herself. This method always worked.   
Makoto seemed like a nice guy, and removing a nice guy from history   
invariably had some detrimental effects, no matter how small.  
"First, I think we should pay a visit to your girlfriend," Shayla said.  
"Ifurita?"  
She nodded. "Remember, you were the one who helped her break away   
from Jinnai and his gang. I wonder how she's fared without you there to   
help her?"  
They materialised in a large, lavishly decorated hallway.  
"What is this?" Makoto gasped in wonder. "Some sort of house?"  
"I'd say it's more like a mansion... what the hell would Ifurita be doing   
here?"  
Voices could be heard approaching. Makoto instinctively went to hide, but   
Shayla stopped him.  
"Don't worry. They won't be able to see us."  
Two figures walked out into the hallway. One was Ifurita, the other was an   
unfamiliar man.  
"Merry Christmas, Ifurita," the man said.  
"Oh, Hiroki," she smiled. "What a wonderful Christmas this is going to   
be. Just the two of us..."  
"Hiroki?" Makoto echoed. "Hey... I know that guy now! I went to school   
with him. Hiroki Hayashi... he was in the Science Fiction Club. Last I   
heard, he was a millionaire."  
"And it looks like in this reality, without you, Ifurita ended up with him,"   
Shayla added.  
Ifurita and Hayashi began to kiss. Makoto sighed.  
"Now do you see what I mean? Ifurita WOULD be better off without me.   
In this reality, she has a millionaire boyfriend and lives in this enormous   
house..."  
"Well, um, yeah..." Shayla conceded. "But she probably isn't really   
happy."  
Makoto regarded Ifurita as she kissed Hayashi. "She certainly looks   
happy."  
"Perhaps," Shayla bluffed, "but, you see, what you have to remember is   
that... well..."  
"This is really starting to depress me," Makoto said. "Can we leave now?"  
"Maybe we should." Shayla pressed another button on the remote control,   
and the scenes around them faded.  
"I think you should know that you haven't convinced me," Makoto said   
dejectedly.  
"That was probably just a coincidence back there," Shayla assured him.   
"Happens sometimes with these parallel universes. Now this will change   
your mind. We're going to visit your parents."  
A new scene formed around them, this time a snow-covered landscape   
dotted with fir trees. A log cabin was just visible in the distance.  
"Why my parents?" Makoto asked, suddenly taken aback by the   
breathtaking scenery.  
"You were an only child," Shayla pointed out. "If you never existed, your   
parents wouldn't have had any children at all. Imagine how empty their   
lives must have been..."  
"And they're here? Where exactly are we? It doesn't look like Japan,   
that's for sure."  
Shayla consulted her device. "Switzerland. We're in Switzerland..."  
Two figures whizzed past Shayla and Makoto on skis.  
"And I think... those guys are your parents."  
Makoto scratched his head. "They must be on holiday here."  
Sahyla studied the device further. "Um... actually, according to this thing,   
they live here. They took early retirement and moved to Switzerland."  
"But how could they afford to do that?" Makoto wondered aloud.  
Shayla shrugged. "I guess not having any kids would give you a lot of free   
time and money to... crap! Not again!"  
Makoto put a hand to his temple. "You see? I've ruined THEIR lives as   
well."  
"No... not necessarily..." Shayla panicked. "Switzerland's not all that   
great. I hear it has a very high crime rate."  
"No it doesn't."  
"Okay, so it doesn't. Just hang in there, I'll find something to prove your   
life's worthwhile..." She punched commands into the remote control.   
"Aha! Got it!"  
The scenery fade once more, and the pair found themselves in a darkened   
graveyard.  
"Now," Shayla smiled, already confident of her impending triumph, "take   
a look at... that gravestone!"  
Makoto read the inscription. "Here lies Gai Daigouji... who?"  
"Oops, wrong one. I meant that one."  
"Here lies Takeshi Kyouki... I know that name. Died aged six..."  
Shayla nodded. "Yes, Makoto. You see, when you were a boy, you   
rescued Takeshi when he fell through the ice on a frozen lake. If you never   
existed, nobody would have been there to save him."  
Makoto gasped. "Oh..."  
"So you see, Makoto, you really did have a wonderful..."  
"He was a murderer," Makoto interrupted.  
Shayla frowned. "What?"  
"When he was sixteen, he went crazy and killed nine people. So... I guess   
that means that if I never existed, all those innocent people would still be   
alive today."  
Shayla shook her head in frustration. "Aw, you're kidding! This is   
ridiculous! Well, I'm not giving up yet..."  
They materialised again in a small apartment. An elderly woman sat   
watching television.  
"Okay," Shayla sighed. "Here's an incident where you definitely made a   
contribution. No doubt about it. Makoto, do you recognise this senior   
citizen?"  
"No," Makoto replied.  
"You should. You see, Makoto, when you were fourteen, you helped this   
old lady across the street. If you never existed..."  
"Yes?"  
"If you never existed," Shayla continued, "she'd have been stuck on that   
pavement for ten whole minutes, trying to get across... causing her to miss   
the beginning of her favourite soap opera!"  
Makoto finally snapped. "IS THIS THE BEST YOU CAN COME UP   
WITH?"  
  
Despite her angelic nature, Afura still found the temptation to drop Jinnai   
a hard one to resist. In fairness, though, it looked as if she'd got through to   
him at last. Since discovering the truth about his future, he had hardly said   
a word. Perhaps, Afura thought, he was finally beginning to evaluate the   
consequences of his actions.  
She flew with him towards the bridge. This was the ultimate test. Would   
Jinnai intervene to prevent Makoto's suicide?  
To her surprise, she suddenly heard voices.  
"And just what is this 'Christmas spirit' thing, anyway?"  
"Um..."  
"Come on! Define it! You don't even know what it means, do you?"  
Afura located the source of the voices. Qawoor was up ahead, hovering in   
mid air and having a heated debate with a girl who was clinging to her   
back.  
"Qawoor?" She called.  
"Oh, Afura," Qawoor said, relieved to break off her argument with Fatora.   
"I'm on an emergency mission. You too?"  
Afura nodded. Fatora caught sight of Jinnai.  
"Hey! What's HE doing up here?"  
  
"That was a complete waste of time!" Makoto said angrily. "All it did was   
confirm what I already know. My life has been pointless."  
Shayla rested on the bridge's guard rail. "I know how it looked," she   
sighed, "but you're still young. There's so much you can still achieve."  
"On the basis of my achievements so far, I don't think I'll bother." He   
walked to the side of the bridge.  
Shayla sprang forwards. "No! You're NOT going to kill yourself on my   
watch! Do you have any idea of the number of forms Peorth'll make me   
fill in if you do?"  
  
Afura, Jinnai, Qawoor and Fatora flew towards the bridge. Jinnai was   
beginning to stir.  
"I... I have to change," he said quietly.  
Afura smiled. "That's right."  
"I want to thank you," he continued. "You've taught me a very valuable   
lesson."  
"Aw, pass the sickbag!" Fatora called.  
"Ssh!" Afura hissed. "Go on, Katsuhiko."  
He nodded. "I've seen what happens. I realise now that I've been going   
about this the wrong way. I was wrong to be a ruthless, unfeeling   
bastard..."  
"Mission accomplished," Afura smiled.   
"From now on, I'm going to be a really ruthless, REALLY unfeeling,   
COMPLETE bastard!" he finished.  
"What?"  
"Obviously I failed because I wasn't determined enough. Now I realise I   
have to redouble my efforts, and let NOBODY stand in my way. Thank   
you very much for showing me that."  
Afura sighed. "Why do I always get the psychos?"  
  
"Let me jump!"  
"No!" Shayla tried desperately to restrain Makoto.  
"Whatever happened to free will?"  
"Screw free will! I want my promotion!"  
Afura and Qawoor touched down on the bridge next to Shayla and   
Makoto. They deposited Jinnai and Fatora on the ground, and went to   
Shayla's assistance.  
"Need some help there, Shayla?" Afura asked.  
"Thanks," Shayla nodded. She looked back at Makoto. "There. Now   
you've got three angels on your case. Satisfied? Even the Virgin Mary   
only got one!"  
"What's the problem with him?" Qawoor enquired.  
Shayla groaned. "He wants to kill himself."  
"Oh?" said Afura. "And did you try showing him the hidden value of his   
existence?"  
"Well, yeah," Shayla replied. "But, um, it didn't really work..."  
"Hey, Mizuhara! JUMP!" called Jinnai.  
Afura looked over her shoulder. "You keep out of this!"  
"Please don't jump," Qawoor said. "I believe that everybody has a   
purpose in this life. Each of us is special, unique..."  
Shayla leaned in to Afura. "Who was it that supervised her angel training   
again?"  
"Belldandy..." they said in unison.  
"Listen!" Makoto interrupted. "I've had enough. I've waited patiently here   
while you've tried one wild scheme after another to prove my life's   
worthwhile. And none of them convinced me. It's as simple as that. My   
life is worthless..."  
"No, it isn't!" Shayla insisted.  
"...pointless, ineffectual, of no consequence..."  
"Oh, stop it, will you?"  
"...devoid of purpose, meaningless, null and void..."  
"What the hell is your problem?"  
"...farcical, pathetic, insignificant..."  
Shayla growled. "Aw, CAN IT, buddy!" She pushed Makoto away in   
frustration. He fell backwards over the side of the bridge.  
"Shayla!" Qawoor gasped.  
Shayla looked back guiltily. "Oops..."  
"Oops?" Afura fumed. "Shayla, you idiot!"  
"Is he still okay down there?" Qawoor asked, peering over the side.  
They were suddenly distracted by a scream. "Hey! Get off me!"  
Further along the bridge, Jinnai had hold of Fatora.  
"I don't know why I didn't think of this before," Jinnai laughed. "All I   
have to do is kill Fatora tonight... then tomorrow, her stupid store will   
have to close as a mark of respect. Meaning Diva's will have the total   
monopoly on Christmas!"  
"Afura!" Qawoor urged. "Can't you do something to stop him?"  
"I sincerely doubt it," Afura sighed.  
Jinnai lifted Fatora over the side of the bridge. "Sorry about this," he   
smiled. "But business is business."  
He dropped her. She fell screaming towards the river below.  
  
"...and then, as if that wasn't bad enough, she started going on at me about   
how I could be sponsored by the store. Sponsorship!" Ariel moaned. "I   
mean, it's... are you listening to me, Sammy?"  
Sammy woke up. "Hmm? Oh, yeah, I'm listening, Ariel..."  
"I don't know what to do. I do love her, but I'm also a Magical Girl. I   
stand for truth and love. Fatora stands for deception and lust..."  
"It doesn't have to be a problem," Sammy replied. "It's not like your   
Fatora's evil... well, not totally evil..."  
"But there's a conflict of interest!" Ariel affirmed. "Take the Magical   
Girls' Handbook. The list of things that good Magical Girls should never   
be involved with..."  
"What about it?" Sammy asked.  
"Number twenty-one: sponsorship deals with large corporations. Number   
eighty-four: price fixing scams in high street stores. Don't you see? I can't   
be associated with things like that."  
Sammy paused. "I'm no expert on this, but... what about number thirty-  
two?"  
Ariel recited the entry. "Number thirty-two: illicit sex and other related   
naughty activities... Aw, come on, Sammy. Nobody takes that one   
seriously. We do all have our own lives to lead. You MUST have broken   
that one at some point."  
Sammy frowned. "Ariel, I'm ten."  
"Oh yeah... Sorry, I keep forgetting."  
"What I mean to say is that even you break the rules sometimes. And   
Fatora's not a Magical Girl. She doesn't have our rules, so is it such a   
problem if she breaks them?"  
"Well," Ariel said, "you might have a point there..."  
"In fact," Sammy continued, "maybe the reason you love her in the first   
place is that she breaks the rules."  
"You know... you're right," Ariel replied. "It always made me smile...   
how she seemed able to get away with anything..." Ariel suddenly gasped.  
"What is it?"  
"I hear something. It's... Fatora! She's in danger!" Ariel leapt up. "I have   
to go. Thanks, Sammy!"  
Ariel flew off into the distance. Sammy smiled, and shook her head.  
"You go, girl."  
  
"Help me! I can't swim! I'm drowning!" Fatora splashed around   
desperately in the river. "Help! I'm... actually, it's not that deep, is it?"  
Makoto waded over, looking rather disappointed. "No. In hindsight, this   
wasn't the best location for a suicide attempt. I should have done more   
research... Do you need a hand?"  
"Hmm? Oh, thanks," Fatora said. "I'll kill that Jinnai when I get my hands   
on him..."  
Jinnai looked over the side of the bridge at Makoto and Fatora, as they   
headed for the riverbank. "Damn!" he cursed. "Thwarted by a deceptively   
shallow river! I'll finish this myself!" He jumped into the river.  
"Whoa," Shayla remarked. "Is he trying to kill himself too?"  
Afura shook her head. "Wishful thinking..."  
Jinnai lunged at Makoto and Fatora. "Out of the way, Mizuhara!" He   
grabbed Fatora and tried to force her head under the water. "Come on!   
Drown already!"  
"No! Get off!" Fatora cried. "Hey!" She squealed as her head became   
submerged.  
"Alright, Jinnai, that's enough!" Makoto shouted. He punched Jinnai in   
the face.  
Jinnai looked at him in horror. "You HIT me!"  
Makoto swung a second punch at Jinnai. This one sent him staggering   
further back into the river. Makoto took the opportunity to drag Fatora to   
the riverbank.  
"Jesus..." Fatora gasped. "Hey... I guess I should thank you..."  
Makoto sat down on the grass. He could finally relax for a moment...  
"How DARE you!"  
A girl in a blue costume flew towards him with a look of utter fury on her   
face. "How dare you save Fatora's life!" That's MY job!"  
She picked up Makoto by the collar and threw him back. He landed in a   
field thirty yards away.  
Fatora looked up at Ariel. "That was unnecessary..."  
"Well," Ariel said disappointedly, "after all we'd been through, I wanted   
to be the one who saved you."  
"I know, I know," Fatora smiled. "It's the thought that counts... Hey, if   
it'll make you feel any better, you can beat up Jinnai."  
Ariel beamed. "Okay!"  
Jinnai gasped. "Dear God... NO!"  
  
Shayla walked up to the dazed Makoto. "It really hasn't been your night,   
has it?"  
Makoto groaned. "You know what? Forget suicide. I just want to go bed."  
"I was right though," she said. "You have a lot of potential. You showed   
that tonight. If you hadn't been there to help Fatora, Jinnai might have   
killed her."  
"What now?" Makoto asked. "What happens to Jinnai?"  
"That's not up to us," Shayla replied. "We're angels. We just give advice,   
we don't intervene directly..." She smiled to herself. "Well... maybe just   
this once."  
She produced a ring, identical to the one Makoto had lost.  
"Incredible..." Makoto gasped. "How...?"  
"For Ifurita," Shayla smiled, pressing the ring into Makoto's palm. "Merry   
Chritmas."  
  
"So, Fatora," Qawoor smiled. "Have I persuaded you to change your   
ways?"  
Fatora paused. "Um... no, actually. I'm still not convinced."  
"Now, Fatora," Ariel said, "I do love you, but it WOULD be nice if you   
were a little more careful with other people's feelings..."  
"There must be some way I can convince you," Qawoor said.  
"Possibly..." Fatora pondered. "Possibly."  
  
Ifurita hurried to answer the door.  
"Makoto?" she said hopefully.  
She opened the door, revealing a red-haired woman.  
"Oh..." Ifurita sighed in disappointment.  
"Don't worry," Shayla said softly. "Makoto's fine."  
"Who are you?" Ifurita asked. "Where is Makoto? What's happened?"  
"He's had quite a night. Fatora Jagdhar was attacked, and he saved her   
life. That's why he didn't come home. But he's on his way back now."  
  
"Good morning everyone!" Fatora called to the customers. "Welcome to   
Jagdhar's! Today is a very special day. Not only is it Christmas Eve, but   
we're welcoming some new employees into our corporate family.   
Returning from a very brief sabbatical is Miz Mishtal! And newly   
transferred from The Store Whose Name Shall Not Be Spoken are   
Masamichi Fujisawa, Nanami Jinnai and Makoto Mizuhara!"  
The customers looked confused, but applauded anyway.  
"In celebration of this happy event, and since it's Christmas Day   
tomorrow, I'm glad to announce that for today, everything is half price!"  
The customers gasped. Most of the staff gasped too.  
"Including... Uras!"  
There was a sudden stampede as half of the customers instinctively headed   
for the toy department. Meanwhile, Fatora turned her attention to Miz and   
Fujisawa.   
"Miz, how could I have been so inconsiderate of your feelings? By way of   
an apology, please accept this gift, courtesy of the store."  
Alielle struggled over with a huge gift-wrapped box.  
"Oh, my," Miz smiled. "Masamichi, look at that. May I ask what it is?"  
"Certainly," Fatora replied. "It's a lifetime's supply of Jagdhar's Brand   
contraceptives!"  
Miz blinked. "Huh?"  
Fatora grinned. "I wish your relationship every success."  
Shayla, Afura and Qawoor stood nearby, observing Fatora's bizarre   
behaviour.  
"I'm impressed, Qawoor," Afura admitted. "But also deeply, deeply   
confused. How on Earth did you manage to bring about such a   
transformation?"  
Qawoor hesitated. "Well, it was really just a matter of..."  
"Hey!" someone called from the entrance. It was Makoto.  
"Guys, you won't believe the size of the car that's just pulled up outside!"  
  
An enormous black limousine had just been parked next to Jagdhar's. A   
significant crowd was already gathering, made up partly of customers and   
staff from Jagdhar's, and partly of people from Diva's, just across the   
street.  
A tall, blue-skinned American man stepped out of the car. He was quickly   
joined by Nahato and Kiriya.  
"Hello, Tokyo," the man said. "My name is Galus Falconburger. You may   
already have seen my associates, Kiriya and Nahato."  
He nodded politely to Kiriya, then bent down and kissed Nahato on the   
cheek.  
"Eeeew!" the whole crowd cried in horror.  
"What?" Galus demanded. "He's my son."  
"Ohhhh..." the crowd sighed in relief.  
"Anyway," he continued, "the reason they've been here is to conduct an   
inspection of both Diva's and Jagdhar's."  
Jinnai watched from his side of the street. "Inspection, eh?"  
"Now," Galus said. "Nahato, which of these stores would you say is the   
superior?"  
Nahato cleared his throat. "Well, until this morning, there was very little   
to separate them. But then... when I entered Jagdhar's today, I was struck   
by a tremendous air of generosity. At one point, the deputy manager was   
almost giving things away to customers."  
"Which," Kiriya continued, "is clearly no way to run a business. We   
therefore conclude that Diva's is the better of the two stores, and that   
Fatora Jagdhar should have her head examined."  
"Hahahahahaha!" Jinnai laughed. "You hear THAT? In your FACE,   
Fatora!"  
"Indeed," Galus nodded. "You see, I'm head of the Wal-Mart   
Corporation. For a while now, I've been looking to expand into Japan. I   
decided to conduct a hostile takeover of one of Tokyo's top department   
stores... but I couldn't decide which one."  
"Ho... hostile takeover?" Jinnai echoed. "That... doesn't sound good."  
"But now, I know. Diva's is the store I'll be taking over."  
Jinnai promptly fainted.  
  
The three angels sat around one of the computers in Jagdhars' internet   
access bay. Peorth appeared on the screen.  
"Angels Second Class Afura Mann, Shayla-Shayla and Qawoor Towles.   
I've evaluated your missions. Afura... well, at least you tried. It was a   
hopeless case. We wouldn't have expected anyone to succeed."  
"So... does that mean I'll still be considered for promotion?" Afura asked   
hopefully.  
"No. Shayla... your mission was a success, and you were the very epitome   
of the professional angel..."  
"Thank you," Shayla said proudly.  
"...right up until the moment when you pushed your subject into the river.   
Bad angel. No promotion for you, mon amie."  
"Hmph," Shayla snorted. "It's really because of my red hair, isn't it?"  
"Finally, Qawoor. Qawoor, Qawoor... I must congratulate you on a truly   
sensational result. Fatora is a changed woman. However... and I think you   
know what I'm going to say next..."  
"Um... yes..." Qawoor said nervously.  
"We most definitely DO NOT approve of the methods you used to   
persuade Fatora. That sort of thing is hardly conduct becoming of an   
angel..."  
Qawoor interrupted. "Miss Peorth, I had to persuade her SOMEHOW..."  
"I don't care, Qawoor! Half of the religious leaders on Earth would drop   
dead of shock if they knew an angel had been up to that sort of thing!"  
"Qawoor," Afura said, "just what DID you do with Fatora last night?"  
"Trust me," Peorth said. "I've seen the tapes, and you do NOT want to   
know."  
Shayla shuddered. "Surely not... you and Fatora?"  
"Well, and Alielle," Qawoor clarified.  
"Ack! That makes it even worse!" Shayla cried. "No wonder they both   
look so happy this morning..."  
Afura could hardly contain her surprise. "Qawoor? You, of ALL people?   
That's the most absurd thing I've ever heard!"  
"Well, I like to see a job well done," Qawoor replied. "I was just doing my   
duty. And I really, really wanted that promotion! Oh, Miss Peorth? Will I   
be promoted for this?"  
Peorth shook her head in despair, and terminated the link.  
"Hypocrite," Qawoor said, a little hurt. "From what I've heard, SHE does   
it all the time."  
  
"Hmm..." Alielle pondered. "What an ironic story. It looks like the most   
generous business won through after all."  
Fatora nodded. "Right. And I think we've discovered something important   
today. Christmas may have been introduced to Japan for largely capitalist   
purposes, but even here, in the consumerist capital of the world, it isn't   
just about money. It's so much more. You don't have to be a Christian, or   
any religion at all, to appreciate the message of Christmas. Let's all   
remind the people we love just how much we really care about them."  
"That was very eloquent, Fatora," Alielle said. "In fact... almost   
disturbingly so. Now, if we only had a cute kid here to complete the   
picture..."  
"Hi!" said a cute kid. "Merry Christmas!"  
"Ugh," said Fatora. "I hate kids. Go away."  
Alielle frowned. "And now you've ruined it."  
  
MARI: And they all lived happily ever after, although Qawoor did get   
teased by Shayla and Afura for the rest of eternity over her indiscretion   
with Fatora...  
RURI: What about Jinnai? Surely HE didn't live happily ever after...  
MARI: Oh, I forgot about Jinnai.  
RURI: You're not very good at this, are you?"  
MARI: Look who's talking! All you ever do is monologues!  
RURI: At least I do them well.  
MARI: You are SO awkward. I don't know where you get it from.   
Anyway, if you really want to know what happened to Jinnai, here it is.  
  
Kiriya smiled at the gathering of Diva-Mart employees.  
"Good morning, workers. We have a very special treat for you today. As   
part of our training programme designed to bring you up to the American   
standard of salesmanship, we're very happy to introduce your new team   
leader and motivational talker, flown in specially from San Francisco...   
Dall Narciss the Third."  
"Hello there!" said an infuriatingly cheerful man. "I'm Dall. Have we all   
bonded today?"  
Jinnai sat amongst the other employees and tried to contain his rage.   
"This whole store could have been mine..." he muttered. "And now look at   
it! What have they done to my beloved store?"  
"We're all going to learn how important it is to work together as a team..."   
Dall continued.  
"Biggest store in Japan... could have been... all mine..." Jinnai babbled.  
"Our first team-building exercise is this Saturday- kayaking through   
shark-infested waters! Okay, team?"  
"HELP ME!" Jinnai screamed. "MY BRAIN IS ON FIRE!" He stood up   
and ran towards the corner of the room.  
Dall watched him with mild interest. "Now, now, Mr Jinnai," he said   
calmly. "There's no 'Banging My Head Against the Wall' in 'Team,' is   
there?"  
Jinnai didn't hear him. This was all so unfair. Why hadn't anybody   
warned him this could happen?  
  
MARI: Hmm. And on that Kafkaesque ending...  
RURI: I bet you don't even know what Kafkaesque means, do you?  
MARI: Ahem. So, Jinnai's life sucked. Serves him right. But everyone   
else was happy. Yay. Makoto had Ifurita, Fatora had Alielle, Miz had   
Fujisawa, and Nanami fell in love with a quiet, unassuming female goth...  
RURI: Baka.  
MARI: And that's it. Did you enjoy it?  
RURI: Well, it was definitely... thought provoking.  
MARI: Really?  
RURI: Yes. In that it was completely stupid.  
MARI: Hey! It was... well, yeah, now that I think about it, it was pretty   
stupid. Oh well. Myself, Ruri-chan and the author would all like to wish   
you an unfeasibly Merry Christmas, and a bloody good New Year. We'd   
also like to thank Firebird, proofreader to the stars, for wading through   
this nonsense and not complaining. And Ruri... will have the last word.  
RURI: I'm not saying it.  
MARI: Go on! Just read what it says on the card. It'll be cute, trust me.  
RURI: (sigh) "God help us, everyone."  
MARI: That's not what the card says!  
  
  
Fin.  
  
dooky, 4th December 2001 


End file.
